Your Drunk Behavior Perfectly Described According To Your Zodiac Sign

A man with a beard and a hat holding a red cup
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While we all cope with the times with copious amounts of alcohol, it’s time to figure out what separates the drunks.

Enough of those foo foo zodiac posts about how you’ll fall in love. This cuts to the subject matter that matters most – drinking. I’ve wasted enough time.

Here’s the rundown.


You’re a really happy drunk usually, but you can also overdo it at times.

You say “I feel like I didn’t even drink that much last night” after getting way too drunk maybe once a month. At least you have a set schedule…


FULL. THROTTLE. You drink like they’re going to stop making alcohol, and always bring the energy. You might flirt a lot, you might be loud, you might climb onto something at some point of the night.

Nobody knows, but one thing everyone knows, is you show up guns blazing.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven
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You’re more of a social drinker, but can become super emotional out of nowhere.

“Oh great, [insert person’s name] is crying/angry/wildly excited again after three shots of tequila” is said often.


You’ll have some drinks, but are usually pretty responsible, and fear embarrassing yourself.

Your night will usually end with you disappearing from the bar so you can order food and go to your couch.


You hate loud drunk people, and you’re definitely not one of those.

You also hate a douchey crowded bar, and prefer something more divey where you can actually have a conversation without your hair vibrating from the music.


You can be unpredictable and…weird?

Sometimes you drink and end up in your own little world, and nobody really knows what you’re thinking, or doing.


You’re up for literally anything and are a wild spirit by nature. You’ll pour yourself something strong like a whiskey on the rocks, or chug 12 beers in an hour, depending on the situation.

You’re usually the last one standing, and encourage everyone to stay out later so you can go to another bar.


Lord have mercy, you like to talk.

You’ll have a heart-to-heart with someone, or plan a vacation with someone you’re barely friends with after six margaritas make your face feel like it’s melting. You can make friends with anyone, anywhere, after some drinks.


You can become bossy and aggressive with diarrhea of the mouth after those whiskeys take over. You’ll be getting the party started more often than not.

When you drink you DRINK. There’s no in between. Pedal to the metal, keep the tequila coming…


You can be impulsive and very loud.

You have no filter and can make people uncomfortable with your jokes once the liquor starts flowing like wine.


The responsible one. People might think you’re boring, but often times you’re drunk enough to think you need to hide it.

You can handle your booze well, but if you start to feel a blackout, you’re likely to disappear only to be found eating food in peace by yourself at a late-night joint.


You go 0-100 REAL fast and have a fiery personality that doesn’t do well with certain more laid back or shy drinkers. Politics, religion, sports, music… you have thoughts on all of these and you’re just begging to get drunk enough to let everyone know how you really feel.

You wear that drunk heart on your sleeve.

Line em up.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock