Every single person knows the inevitable question that’s coming their way when you get around family for the Holidays.
It’s usually something along the lines of, “Why are you still single,” “Are you dating anyone yet,” or “Where’s your girlfriend/boyfriend?” It’s a question every single person dreads because it’s just another painful reminder that you’re still alone… yet, again.
If you’ve heard it all before, you probably have your go-to response down, but if not, here are some ideas from a few AskReddit posts to help ya out.
1. The “I’m too good” response.
“Because I’m overqualified!”
“Because I’m busy and picky as fuck”
2. The response that makes them feel bad and/or awkward.
“Bad luck. Every guy I date just uses me for my body.”
“Because I’m a loser and no one likes me.”
“I break out into heaving sobs and make sure I’m not wearing waterproof eyeliner or mascara for maximum stains when I bury my face in their shirt for ’emotional support.”
“If I had the answer to that I’d have a girlfriend.”
3. The response that puts it back on them.
“Why don’t you have any manners yet?”
“Are you asking me out? Don’t you think that’s a little inappropriate?”
“Because your statistical contribution to the divorce rate in this country has made me fearful of relationships.”
”Well, I’m open to date. You can introduce me if you have somebody in mind.”
4. The “I’m too busy focusing on myself” response.
“I’m currently focused on becoming the type of man that can make a woman feel like the luckiest woman on the planet. Once I have my house/career/life in order, I will actively pursue a relationship.”
“I don’t have time to date. Too many hobbies and work eats up my schedule.”
5. The blunt “I like to fuck around still” response.
“Because I like having one night stands Aunt Susan.”
“Because I’m a huge flirt. Can’t commit.”
6. The straight up lie.
“I have a boyfriend, but he couldn’t make it this year.”
“Actually, I have several. Why?”
7. The nervous laugh.
“Ahahahahahahahaha…ooh I’ve made myself sad.”
8. The funny response to make them laugh as a distraction.
“I haven’t narrowed them all down yet”
“Because nobody can tame all this”
9. The blame game.
“Because for 20 years you made me put academics first and social skills don’t happen overnight.”
“Because you raised me to be a quiet, socially stunted, introverted wuss, who is too scared of respecting other people’s boundaries to even look a cashier in the eyes when they give me my change.”
10. The sarcastic response.
“Yeah, I’ll just put on my girlfriend helmet and climb into the girlfriend cannon and get blasted into girlfriend land where girlfriends grow on girlfriend-trees.”
11. The defensive response.
“Maybe I don’t want one?”
“I’d just look them dead in the eyes until they realize that it’s not a tactful question.”
And my personal favorite…
“Because fuck you, that’s why. Mind your own business”
*Walks off to the drink table for some whiskey*