Jay-Z’s $91K Bar Tab for a Table of 6 Isn’t As Impressive as My $700 Tab for Well Tequila, Table of 3

Everybody on the internet is freaking out over Jay-Z’s $91,135 bar tab for a table of 6 in NYC. Bunch of thousand dollar bottles of fancy champagne. Wow. So impressive. Who gives a fuck.

Jay-Z is almost a billionaire. What’s $91K at the club? That’s like you buying two $5 footlongs instead of one. I’m not that impressed. I will tell you what is impressive…

A few years back, there was a new country bar in Chicago opening called Old Crow. Me, Wes, and our buddy Austin went on opening night, and sat down for a nice Michael Coors Light. We’re all up to our eyeballs in student loans. We all had shitty jobs that didn’t pay. Credit card debt. You name it. But, we had to cleanse our minds with alcohol, so we did.

We started ordering the house well tequila (blanco, of course). One thing led to another. These things started drowning out our worries. We drank so much well tequila I think I convinced myself I would eventually have money one day, so it was OK to keep ordering.

As the night climaxed with people crying over ex-lovers and dancing like an Eastern European folklore group on the dance floor, we were given our tab. $700.

$700 on well tequila – between 3 people. Maybe there were a few Michael Coors Lights mixed in, but it was all well tequila. The bad stuff. We just kept going. $700 on well tequila, as the group’s cumulative debt is enough to buy three Teslas.

That’s impressive. That’s impressive. Good for us.

Tags Life