I’m a fucking idiot. That’s what you tell yourself as you stare at your droopy-eyed self in the bar restroom as you realize you’re at the point of no return. You drank too much, and nothing can reverse it. You can’t drink like you used to and these moments are a depressing reminder.
You can’t mix booze like you used to, either. A comparison of 29 vs 21 goes something like this…
At 21 you can drink plastic bottle Wolfschmidt Vodka with a blue Gatorade and Miller High Life all day long. You might puke, but the next minute you’re back to business. At 29? Six beers and you forget what day it is. Four shots on an empty stomach takes your drunkenness to a level where your friends start thinking to themselves, “shit, he’s gone.” A two-day drinking bender at 29 equals a four-day hangover. That’s the rule at 29 vs 21.
As you age, the hangover lasts twice as long as the amount of days you drank. Drink for 12 hours on Saturday? You won’t feel all there mentally or physically until Monday or Tuesday. It takes two days of kale shakes and workouts to make your hangover anxiety and depression disappear.
Math equation: Consecutive days drinking x 2 = days you’re not in peak shape mentally or physically
The mental hangover is the worst. Physically you might feel fine in a half day, but mentally? Nah. You forget passwords to online accounts you use every day. You trip on your own feet. You forget where things are, you hate everything. Fuck it all. Fuck my job, my car, my route to work, this salad, this keyboard, my computer chair, that annoying co-worker. Fuck it all. This can last a couple days and it only gets worse as you get older. Day by day, weekend by weekend. It’s over, you just can’t do it like you used to or want to. Drinking becomes more of an event as you age. You get excited and prepare for it like a Major Leaguer does for Opening Day.
But knowing all this, well, sometimes it doesn’t matter. All someone has to say is “day drinking” and you say “yes.” You perk up like a dude getting a response on Tinder. Day drinking brings you back in. Just when you thought you hit a clear patch of healthy, active, weekend choices. Day drinking comes along and pulls you back in. You just can’t do it like you used to, but you keep doing it because someone ordered that round of tequila. Which leads to 10 tequilas.
It’s that friend’s fault, and sometimes yours. Usually, it’s worth it, even if your hangover pulls you into darkness and listening to acoustic playlists as you shovel ice cream into your face.