Florida Woman Crashes Wedding, Finds Cheating Boyfriend & Starts Bathroom Brawl With Bridesmaids

A person smiling next to another woman

This is what the movie doesn’t tell you.

Sure 9 times out of 10, crashing a wedding is no harm no foul, but every so often, you get someone who completely fucks shit up and has to be dragged out of the bathroom by a gang of bridesmaids. Also, Florida… this is so Florida.

According to police, Shelby McDowell, 20, told police that her boyfriend Darby Johns was attending a wedding that she was not invited to, but showed up at the resort to spy on Johns.When McDowell saw her boyfriend with another woman on the dance floor, she threw a drink on both her and Johns then punched her before running to the bathroom.

Classic. You have a guy at a wedding that his girlfriend wasn’t invited to getting a little too cozy on the dance floor. If there’s one place you can be sure you won’t get caught cheating, it’s at a wedding. Unfortunately for this fella, Shelby was one step ahead of him and had been staking that bitch out for weeks. Camouflage, bushes, binoculars… the whole 9 yards. Waiting patiently for her moment to pounce and BOOM. Drink in the face, right hook to the side chick. The only hole in Shelby’s plan was her escape route. She got herself cornered in the bathroom like an angry raccoon and everybody knows what happens when you corner an angry raccoon…

Once in the bathroom, McDowell claimed several woman from the bridal party pulled her out of the stall by her feet and began to punch her. Resort officials claim that when the resort manager came to break up the fight, McDowell was on top of the victim, punching her in the face.

Johns told deputies that McDowell was not his girlfriend and that she had not been invited to the wedding. He also claimed that he did not kiss the victim and that they were walking to the dance floor when they were attacked.

If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that you don’t piss off a gang of bridesmaids. Bitch took off to the bathroom you say?  No problem, we’ll drag her out by her feet and gang beat her ass for ruining this wedding. But wait a second, when security arrived our cornered raccoon in on top of side chick dropping elbows like Conor McGregor, while (apparently) everyone else was just watching. Remember what I said about a cornering an angry raccoon? Yup, learned that lesson the hard way.

Of course, the idiot guy in the middle of this whole fiasco pulls out the oldest trick in the book… denies he was even there.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

Man, I love weddings…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock