Science Proves That Pumpkin Spice Increases Male Sex Drive & It’s Officially Man Hunting Season

Did you know that a study was conducted that showed that the most sexually arousing scent for men is pumpkin? Well…now you do.

Since men love pumpkin so much, I feel like it’s only right to figure out the best pumpkin scented and flavored things out there so you can use the natural powers of seduction.

Let’s start with the weirdest pumpkin spice thing in existence: deodorant.

Native Deodorant has a pumpkin spice latte scented deodorant. If you’re in the mood to hook a man based on the smell of your armpits, here’s a winner for you.

Next, we’ll move on to the ambiance: candle.

Yankee Candle is almost always the spot to go when you want something that smells bomb.com. If you’re trying to seduce your new bae with some pumpkin spice, grab a few Spiced Pumpkin candles and set the mood all around your place. You’ll have him eating (something pumpkin, probably) out of your hand in no time at all.

Now roll on to the booze: Pumpkin Beer and Pumpkin Pie Vodka.

Personally, I think the best pumpkin beer is one that is in the trash (just throw me a Coors Light and I’ll be content) but, I asked some classmates (aka beer experts) and the general consensus is that Boulevard Brewing (out of Kansas City) and New Belgium have good ones. Also, you can’t go wrong with just pairing your Natty Ice with a pumpkin muffin. Pinnacle has a pumpkin pie vodka so you can continue to get your basic bitch on while you get turnt on a Friday night. If you’re a broke basic bitch with no standards of alcohol, Burnett’s also has some but I don’t recommend that unless you want to black out and wake up in a pumpkin patch. The only question I have is, what do you mix pumpkin pie vodka with? If you have any ideas, comment so I can try them out for science!

Dinner is super important: Pizza

I’m sorry, I wish this wasn’t a thing because the thought of this makes me want to sob uncontrollably into my furry vest. But there’s a pizzeria in New Jersey that makes a pumpkin spice pizza. If that whole thought scares you, you could always grill up some pumpkin spice sausages (there’s a few brands). Or just skip it all together and eat a big old slice of pumpkin bread.

Next: Pumpkin Pie Gelato

You can’t have a full date if you’re not going to have dessert. Talenti makes a pumpkin pie gelato that I’ve heard is really good (but I refuse to reach that level of basic bitch).

Last but not least: donuts and coffee.

When you have an adult sleepover after drinking all your pumpkin beer and eating pumpkin pie (okay maybe that’s too much) you should definitely wake him up with pumpkin donuts. Dunkin has delicious pumpkin donuts and they have pumpkin spice coffee too. So you can go buy them before he wakes up.

So now that fall is here, get your basic bitch on and get to using the power of pumpkin to score you a hottie!

Happy hunting.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.