Texas Calf Born Looking Like KISS Frontman Gene Simmons

KERRVILLE, Texas (AP) – KISS frontman Gene Simmons is udderly thrilled by a newborn calf born with strikingly similar black-and-white markings to the face paint he wears on stage.

Simmons tweeted his admiration for the calf on Sunday, saying, “This is real, folks!!!”

The calf was born Friday at a ranch near Kerrville, Texas, which is about 60 miles (96 kilometers) northwest of San Antonio. Heather Taccetta (tuh-SET’-uh), who lives at the ranch with her family, said Tuesday that the calf belongs to her grandmother. It is named Genie, in honor of Simmons.

Taccetta says the calf and its mother are doing fine and that Genie is a family favorite and won’t be sold for slaughter.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

In the age of fake news, we can never be entirely sure what’s real until Gene Simmons himself verifies it. More importantly, we have finally found a way to keep cows from getting slaughtered. Paint them like a famous rock star and you’re grandma will love it.

I can already see those PETA freaks sneaking into barns across the country.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock