Ladies, let’s chat.
Any of you read that quote and relate? Well, I’ve got a little somethin’ for ya. Maybe your story went a little something like…
The two of you gave it a go and it ended with him walking away. Or maybe you never even got to the point of actually giving the relationship a chance. Maybe he was too immature, scared, or uninterested in pursuing you further. He might’ve had good intentions or he might’ve been a huge asshole at the heart of it all.
Either way, I’m sure most girls could relate to having a desire to make him miss you. You want him to really regret ever letting you get away. You want him to look at you one day and think “Damn. I let HER get away.” You want him to recognize how he’s missed out. To do this, girls often think the best way is to get the response they want out of him is to play his games. This game includes but is not limited to:
- Trying to make him jealous.
- Being a bitch.
- Confusing him.
- Trying so hard.
- Ignoring him.
- Going out of your way to make him notice.
- Making sure he feels the hurt that you felt.
- Doing everything you can to make sure you play a game that he’ll loose.
All of these games are what really set you up for failure. You see, if you’re taking time out of your life to do any of the points listed and beyond, you are only hurting yourself. He’ll see right through what you’re doing. You might be a player now, but remember he was the creator. He knows the ins and outs of it all, so giving him a taste of his own medicine won’t work. In fact, it might reassure.
The girl who does her own thing and doesn’t look at love as a game is the one who will be remembered. You might feel like you let your guard too far down with him but really all you did was let yourself feel. You might’ve challenged him and been so brutally honest that he couldn’t handle it. You might’ve been too strong for him to handle. In times of tension, you bit your tongue and had a heart full of grace.
When the time came to walk away, you did it with a kind heart, no bitterness, and no regrets. You see, THAT is the kind of girl that people will hate themselves for hurting. Even if you feel anger and sadness in your heart, that doesn’t mean you have to create those same feeling in him. Take the relationship as a learning opportunity and get on with your life. This kind of girl is the one that hears all the words a year too late.
Speaking from personal experience, I’ve been both girls. I’ve tried to play my fair share of games. In those moments I didn’t realize what I was doing. I thought I was doing something that would make my heart feel better. I was so wrong and ended up dealing with more pain than I would’ve if I had just been the graceful, kind girl that walked away with her head held high. When I finally decided to be that girl, my heart healed quicker and I was able to move on. By the time I was able to get through a day without his name coming to mind, he was calling me up saying every word I could’ve loved to hear months ago. *Cue Taylor Swift, “White Horse”*
“And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I’m so sorry”
It’ll hurt until it doesn’t but I guarantee being the girl who doesn’t play the games is the one that will be remembered in the long run.