Bengals Fan Will Celebrate Her 105th Birthday By Day Drinking Copious Amounts Of Fireball For Early Saturday Kickoff

Bengals fan
Florence Hackman

If you’re in the Cincinnati area and you’re not RSVPing to the 105th birthday party for Florence “Flo” Hackman on Saturday at 2 p.m. local time at Traditions of Deerfield assisted living, what are you even doing? You think your Bengals tailgate is going to get the job done? Maybe it normally would, but not when you can hammer down Fireball shots with Flo and her best friends/family for the Vikings game.

No but seriously, this is said to be an exclusive event of around 50 people attending. Now that it’s making the rounds across the Internet, they might have to expand the site’s scope to accommodate the local paparazzi and curious onlookers who wish they could get in.

Indeed a major hat tip to the Cincinnati Enquirer‘s Victoria Moorwood for reporting on this story, and sharing all the inside info leaked out by Deerfield to gas up this occasion for the extraordinary centenarian. Fox 19 tells me in their report on this situation that only 0.38% of U.S. women live to the age of 105. I mean shoot, most of us wouldn’t be terribly disappointed with three-quarters of that, right?

OK before I have an existential crisis, or convince myself that I have to drink Fireball (which I find disgusting) because it’s high-key the secret elixir that keeps people alive for many years, let’s move on.

Flo dressed as Queen Elizabeth from Halloween! This woman is living her best life, and I can’t help but be a little moved and inspired by how she’s still thriving well into the triple digits of old age.

The Bengals could use all the good vibes they can get.

Having a game on a Saturday is a weird scheduling thing by the NFL. Now that college football is mostly out of the picture, I get it. Doesn’t mean it’s a little bit of a disadvantage for the teams participating. Anyway, both the hosting Bengals and Vikings are 7-6 and fighting to stay alive for a postseason berth. Flo might be the intangible X-factor who pushes Cincinnati over the top.

Well done, Flo. Here’s to many more, and to a Bengals victory, because somehow, stone-cold baller Jake Browning is keeping us in the crowded AFC playoff hunt. WHO DEY!!

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock