20 Dad Jokes So Stupid They’re Perfect

sam elliott the ranch dad jokes

Nothing beats a good dad joke.

A good, or great, dad joke is so stupid that it makes you stop and realize just how perfect it actually is. Thousands of folks shared their favorite on Reddit. Here were the top 20 jokes.

1. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they’d be Bagels.

2. To be frank, I’d have to change my name.

3. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Well the flag’s a big plus.

4. A drummer’s wife had quadruplets. He wanted to name each one Anna. She asked how they will tell them apart. He replied, “Anna1, Anna2…”

5. A psychic dwarf was committed for murder. After a few days in prison, he broke out. He was a small medium at large.

6. What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

7. What do you call a broken can opener?

A can’t opener.

8. Why’d the old man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

9. I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

10. A man walked into a zoo. There was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

11. I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly none of them work.

12. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

13. They say smoking kills, but it cures salmon.

14. Why do scuba divers jump backwards out of the boat?

Because if they jumped forward, they’d still be in the boat.

15. Why do chicken coupes have 2 doors? Because if they had 4, they’d be chicken sedans.

16. A skeleton walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, “I’d like a beer and a mop.”

17. Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says “May I just say one word?”

“Sure” she replies.

“Plethora” the guys says.

The widow says “Thanks. That means a lot.”

18. What’s blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

19. Are you trying to tell me a shrimp fried this rice?

20. How do you get a one-armed redneck out of a tree?

Wave at him.

Dad level = Sam Elliott in The Ranch…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock