37 Signs You Can’t Drink Alcohol Like You Used To

A dog lying on a table

Remember when you were 21 and could stay out drinking until 4am, be at the gym by 11am, then ready to do it all again by 5pm? Those days are gone.

Now? A fetal position for 2 days is a win. A Sunday consists of sleeping until 6 pm then waking up only to be abnormally sad and depressed until Tuesday.

Here are 37 signs you’re getting too old to go out like you used to…

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

37. Day drinking has become infinitely better than going out at night. Home by 6 or 7. Bingo.

36. Your beer shotgun time has doubled in the last year.

35. Your lower back hurts really bad after drinking for a couple days straight. Are my kidneys OK?

34. You keep asking yourself “are there more douchebags than normal here, or do I just hate everyone” while at a bar.

33. You love drinking in work out clothes.

32. You don’t spend more than 5 minutes to get ready if possible.

31. You try anything to prevent a hangover. Activated charcoal pills? Yup.

30. You get so drunk so fast now people can build a log cabin on you.

A man and a woman

29. You currently own Ibuprofen, Alka-Seltzer, Pepto, and Emergen-C.

28. Is this a hangover or do I have the flu?

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

26. You get excited about taking Melatonin when you know you’re staying in.

25. You buy candles for your Saturday night Netflix watching.

24. You keep asking yourself “how old are they?” when you’re out and around annoying people.

23. And, you hate everyone around you while you’re out.

22. You drink a lot of clear alcohol, with waters in between.

21. You notice the unsanitary habits of bartenders.

20. You fall asleep in places that aren’t your bed at 6pm.

A group of people in the snow

19. When you go out it seems like everyone is always bumping into you.

18. Is the music really loud in here?

A group of people in the snow

17. You bake cookies from scratch.

16. You spend a lot of money on fancy coffee.

15. You start Googling types of puppies you want.

14. You have to leave the house by 9pm 8pm or you’re staying in.

13. You like establishments with rickety bar stools that are cash only.

12. If you are out, your attention turns to what you’re gonna eat around 11pm.

A group of people in the snow

11. You buy Pediatlyte when you know you will be drinking on back to back days.

A black coffee maker on a counter

10. You’re always cold. Why am I so cold?

9. You listen to acoustic Spotify playlists as you shower.

8. You order slippers on Amazon.

7. You prefer watching your favorite sports teams in your own house.

6. You bring a koozie with you to bars.

5. You buy “going out” clothes, only to return them a week later.

4. You’re more excited about waking up without a hangover than you are about going out.

A group of people in the snow

3. You have no reason for not going out. You just can’t sometimes.

2. You just want to cuddle with something.

1. You have to mentally prepare for nights out. It’s an event now. The Super Bowl of your month. You approach it like one.