Don’t Put Mayonnaise In Your Coffee Please

Man, sometimes I really love the internet.

Sports writer Jim Salisbury commented on a tweet where a guy asked if he could substitute cottage cheese for milk for mac and cheese. Salisbury said, “I once used mayo in coffee when out of half and half. not half bad.”

As you might expect, the internet and Twitterverse proceeded to lose their minds. If you’re like me, you just threw up on your lap.

Blend some grass-fed butter into your coffee, sure. Whole milk, cream, coconut oil, it’s all popular, and has health benefits from the healthy fats. And the flavor is good. Mayo however has eggs, vinegar/citrus, and other shitty oils  often mixed in (unless you buy expensive mayo). My theory is it probably gets a little curdle-y and tastes like shit.

I think I saw Bobby Flay once use mayo to make a cake extra moist (sorry if you hate the word MOIST), but that actually makes sense. Cake batter needs oil, eggs, etc.

Don’t put mayo in your coffee. Ya with me?

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock