“That Was 100% Real” – Andrew Schulz Reveals Robert Kraft Massage Jokes Were Off Limits During The Tom Brady Roast

Tom Brady Jeff Ross

Netflix’s Tom Brady roast has drawn mostly rave reviews, and the people who were offended by it felt like the whole event crossed the line more than a few times. Isn’t that the whole point of a roast, though? To cross the line? Brady himself seemed fine with how bold and politically incorrect many of the jokes were during the live event. However, he stipulated that his children were off-limits, and apparently prohibited any digs at New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft.

Jeff Ross ignored the latter directive, and made a massage joke about Kraft, which prompted Brady to go up to Ross during his segment and reply, “Don’t say that sh*t again.” Ross insisted that Brady wasn’t actually upset.

…But another comedian who was on-site, Andrew Schulz, shared the previously unknown (as far as I know) information that Kraft jokes weren’t allowed. Thus, Brady’s reaction might have indeed been authentic and not a bit.

Schulz explains that he had a “happy endings” joke lined up that featured Randy Moss and had Robert Kraft as the tag. Not gonna lie, Schulz’s explanation of the joke and how Moss factored in made absolutely zero sense to me. Like to the point where I don’t even get the punchline, and the way Schulz tells it is sort of halfhearted that the transcription of it is a challenge. So I’ll just take his word for it that it was going to be hilarious.

The point isn’t the joke. The point is that Brady guards Kraft like he’s a second father figure, and both men still have a chilly relationship with head coach Bill Belichick. I find it odd that Belichick could never give Brady a break from getting chewed out in front of the team, rewarding him with a better-paying contract, or adding more weapons around him, particularly toward the end of his Patriots tenure. I get why Brady feels a type of way about Belichick.

What’s weirder to me is how things went so sour between Belichick and Kraft. They did so much winning together, yet by the end, they wanted nothing to do with each other. Although Kevin Hart brought them together to take a shot, there was still palpable tension between them.

I’m fascinated by the conflicting stories about the Brady roast and what the rules were. It’s also amazing that Kim Kardashian getting booed was cut out of the roast. Stuff like this adds to the legend of it all. What a spectacle. What a gigantic win for Netflix. Also, what a triumph for Brady. Sure, Gisele is rightfully ticked off at what went down, as is Aaron Hernandez’s fiancée.

That’s all fair. Nevertheless, you can’t help but find it a little funny that Brady didn’t adamantly push back against anything except a massage parlor joke about Robert Kraft.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock