Happy early Thanksgiving from all of us here at Whiskey Riff!
Hopefully you’ve got some fun plans for Turkey Day, and whether it’s with family or friends, we’re bringing to the table some controversial country music conversation starters to throw out there when there’s a lull in a gathering.
You could always bring up politics, or how that one cousin still doesn’t have a job, but what’s the fun in that really? That can often lead to things that are far too personal, and if you’re lucky, a great uncle getting arrested. But we don’t want that for you all, we just want a nice, peaceful, country music debate to break out at your Thanksgiving table.
Now even though I say peaceful, I can’t promise things will stay civil when you throw one of these four things out there. You just have to read the room and know who you are talking to before you decide to roll out one of these topics.
If the goal is to walk away from the Thanksgiving table with a full stomach and a boatload of memories though, you might want to activate all four of these controversial country music conversation starters. Let’s get into them, shall we?
1) Garth Brooks Should Really Embrace The Streaming Music World
Is there any other artist creating music right now that hasn’t gotten with the streaming music system besides Garth Brooks? The man just released a new album, which is great, but it’s only available in a box set at Bass Pro Shops (that is not a joke).
Garth Brooks announces his new album ‘Time Traveler’ will be released on November 7th exclusively at Bass Pro Shops. pic.twitter.com/krBws3HRRo
It seems to me that if you like Garth Brooks, you best live within driving distance of a Bass Pro Shop in case he were to release some new music. For a zany comparison, releasing your new album only at a Bass Pro Shop is like Elon Musk only selling Teslas in Albert City, Iowa. If that’s the only place people can get it, when everyone else makes it relatively easy to get what they make, you probably aren’t going to sell all that much.
This topic should be good for a younger versus older demographic. You’ll have some longtime Garth Brooks fans defending him without a doubt, but all you have to do as a comeback is “do you mind getting the album out and letting everyone listen to it?” and just pray that they haven’t made a trip to a Bass Pro Shop lately.
2) Chris Stapleton’s Cover of “Tennessee Whiskey” Is Not As Good As The Original
Now THIS is a hot take. The hottest of all hot takes even. If you are brave enough, you could run with the idea that the original version of “Tennessee Whiskey” by David Allan Coe is better than Chris Stapleton’s cover.
You could even be informing people that Chris Stapleton’s “Tennessee Whiskey” is a cover, which could bring up its own mini-version of a controversy. There could be some deniers, but stay strong, and stick with David Allan Coe’s version, just to see what happens:
Who are we kidding? Stapleton’s version is astronomically better. It might as well be his own song now, and just goes to show that any song that Stapleton covers is going to be better than the original:
3) Florida Georgia Line Should Get Back Together
Do I really have to explain this one? This topic has the potential to divide the room like the state line between Georgia and Florida, but of the four topics here, it’s probably the weakest.
Why? Because it could be a situation where you are preaching to whatever is the opposite of the choir and everyone would just say “no, they do not.” The country music duo split up back in 2022, and since then we haven’t had musical masterpieces like “This Is How We Roll” or “Cruise” be released by anyone else.
Could Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley put their differences aside and reunite? Would “bro-country” be back at its peak if they did return? The answers to those two questions are “yes and yes,” which is exactly why the answer to the question of them getting back together should be a “resounding no.” The topic could still probably lead to “burning down the night and shooting at the moon” after Thanksgiving.
4) Garth Brooks Is A Serial Murder
We started with Garth Brooks, and we’ll finish with Garth Brooks. It never hurts to come full circle, which is exactly why suggesting that he could be a serial murderer would be an interesting way to spice up Turkey Day. You may have noticed that anytime Garth Brooks does anything now, people bombard him with questions about where he is hiding the bodies.
So why not take the social media sensation that is the conspiracy theory that Brooks is a mass murderer and bring it to the Thanksgiving table? I guarantee you it will be the hottest topic of the day, and a whole lot more interesting than when your aunt says “wow Bill, you outdid yourself with this green bean casserole.”
Tell Bill to shove his green bean casserole where the sun don’t shine and instead try to get to the bottom of the Garth Brooks murder mystery. Why is he killing? Why won’t he give the families closure? And most importantly, where are the bodies? Bring those questions to the table at Thanksgiving and it will surely be a memorable get together.