Granger Smith Says He Felt Like A Failure After The Loss Of His Son: “I Pulled Out My Glock…I Said ‘Jesus Save Me'”

Granger Smith country music
Youtube/Ed Mylett

Granger Smith left country music to pursue ministry earlier this year, and he certainly has an incredibly tragic, and inspiring, story to tell.

He’s spoken some about his reasons for stepping away from the music industry after losing his three-year-old son River in June of 2019 after he drowned at their family home in their backyard pool in Texas.

But during a recent interview on entrepreneur and author Ed Mylett’s podcast, he got very deep about how dark it was to lose a child and feel responsible in some way, which is something most of us can’t, and don’t want to, ever imagine.

Granger talked very candidly about tragically finding River in the pool after he drowned and the “horror” that obviously comes along with something that unthinkable, and he told Ed that he felt he had let River down as his father, saying:

“As a father, I failed. I let my boy down as if he said ‘Dad, you let me down. Where were you?’ That was killing me… it was killing me.”

He continued, saying he pulled his Glock out of the drawer, ready to end his own life, when he cried out to God in one last effort to save himself, and God answered in a supernatural way:

“I reached in the drawer, pulled out my Glock, this is the way to rest. This is the way to make it all stop. Just squeeze the trigger.

And right in that moment, I said out loud, ‘Jesus, save me! Please God, Jesus, save me!’ It all went away.”

While they were in the hospital with River, the doctor took away the hope that, by some miracle, River would pull through, and Granger and his wife Amber made the decision to donate his organs.

The staff had to take River into a different operating room for that procedure, and they also had to take him off life support so he could breathe his last breathe on his own.

River had always loved to go “fast” on anything, riding bikes and things like that, Granger said, and as they were pushing him on the bed to another room, Granger asked the nurse:

“You think you could wheel him a little faster?”

The nurse told them they would set a “Texas record” for how fast they went, and as they went by, people from all the rooms they passed by came out to clap and cheer them on, and Granger poignantly recalled thinking:

“There he goes. He’s going fast one last time.”

It’s incredible what Granger has already done with his ministry, as he plans to complete seminary school and continue to give hope to those who don’t feel like there’s anything left for them.

Granger had also previously noted that, aside from the tragedy of losing a child and that major shift in perspective, it had become impossible for him to reconcile certain parts of his faith and the way he views the music industry.

You can check out that part of the interview with Ed here, and it will probably bring a tear to your eye very early on this Wednesday morning:

And can watch the entire, hour-long interview here:

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock