In hindsight, maybe drafting Austin Jeanty in the first round wasn’t my best pick.
I have a love/hate relationship with Fantasy Football. I won my league two years ago: Despite Christian McCaffrey going down after week 2, I was able to ride Josh Allen all season and ended up sneaking out a win. But how quickly things change, because even Allen couldn’t save my team from my terrible draft strategy this year (turns out having Chris Olave as my top WR wasn’t the move…that’s what I get for drafting as a Saints fan and not as a fantasy manager).
So today, I serve my punishment: I have to stay at a bar on Broadway here in Nashville from the time it opens at 10:00 AM until it closes at 3:00 AM.
The good news is that I was able to negotiate to serve my punishment at Chief’s, so I won’t have to hear “Wagon Wheel” for 15 straight hours. And I can also earn time off the clock: 30 minutes for every beer, and an hour for every shot (or liquor drink…I think those count. I’ll have to confirm that with the league, but my commissioner is a terrorist so it may just be straight shots).
So what should my strategy be here? I’m hoping to make it out of there before the sun goes down, which would require knocking off at least 7 or 8 hours. Do I just rip 7 shots in the first couple of hours and then coast until time to leave? I’ve pretty much decided that I’m going to stick to liquor and not even worry about beer, because of the smaller reward and also the fullness factor.
I’ve also confirmed that the rooftop is fair game, so at least I can get some fresh air throughout the day, I just can’t step foot outside of the doors of the bar. And Chief’s has good barbeque, so I’ll be able to put down a solid base which should hopefully help with the alcohol. And I think some of our league members plan to join me throughout the day, so at least I won’t be totally alone the whole time.
But it’s Saturday on Broadway, which also means I’ll have to deal with the bachelorette parties. And I also just got back in town from three days of Eric Church at Red Rocks, so there are plenty of better ways I should be spending my Saturday than sitting at a bar because I suck at Fantasy Football.
I’m an honorable man though. I have nobody to blame but myself for this one, so it’s time to pay up. I plan on live-tweeting my experience, so feel free to follow along on our Whiskey Riff account throughout the day to see just how miserable I am.
If you happen to be in Nashville, feel free to stop by and have a shot with me. I’ll be there for a while.
