I prefer my wild turkey in a glass on the rocks, not running around town and terrorizing people.
A small town called Louiseville in Quebec had a real turkey problem on its hands, and they weren’t really sure how to handle it. According to the Montreal Gazette, the turkey was attacking people of all ages for weeks on end, but really had it out for the town’s elderly and children. Mayor Yvon Deshaies first reported the turkey’s antics to Canadian Wildlife officials, but they claimed that the fowl was not dangerous. The mayor then tried to hire a trapper to catch and remove the turkey, but he was told that would be inhumane.
So that’s when Mayor Deshaies started playing dirty, and decided to take matters into his own hands. He believed that the turkey was a domestic terrorist, and wouldn’t stand by as people in his town were chased, harassed, and attacked by the unruly turkey. Though it is illegal to hunt wild turkeys in Quebec outside of the proper hunting season, the Mayor put a hit out on the bird, and entrusted a sling-shot-using citizen to take out the turkey.
And the sling-shot-wielding Canadian finished the job, as the Mayor proudly told the Montreal Gazette:
“This morning at 9 a.m., a man with a sling – like in the time of David and Goliath, he’s very good with it – he hit the wild turkey with two metal stones in the head and he fell. He didn’t suffer at all.”
I love absolutely everything about that quote. From the Bible reference, to the Donald Trump-ism of “he’s very good with it.” Comedic gold right there.
But not everyone thought that the turkey assassination was funny. Despite the turkey’s reign of terror coming to an end, many in the town felt as though the mayor didn’t have the power to call for its head. In addition to the sanctions that the wildlife ministry in Quebec will likely bring, citizens were threatening to sue the mayor and calling for his resignation. There were some that even equated him to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.
But Mayor Deshaies stood tall in the face of criticism, and suggested that the wildlife officials who were hesitant to respond left him with no choice:
“I would have liked the wildlife ministry to take care of it. When it’s attacking citizens, or children, a person in a wheelchair, it doesn’t matter.
That’s not normal. I defend my citizens. I’m not going to wait for (the turkey) to scratch a child.”
In the mayor’s defense, the turkey did seem a bit unhinged. This Facebook video was making its rounds on social media as it showed a man in the town being blocked from entering into a building by the turkey.
The man’s attempts to shoo away the big bird (throwing snow at it) were unsuccessful, and led to the elderly man having to run for his life down the street with the aggressive turkey in pursuit.
Take a look:
Poor guy. Officially, that’s not funny. Unofficially though… it’s damn funny. The mayor thought that everyone in town would rejoice once the turkey was taken care of, but the sling shot execution has been met with mixed feelings.
That hasn’t changed his view on the matter one bit though, as he explained in this final quote with the Montreal Gazette:
“In our town, if an aggressive dog or cat bites someone, it is euthanized. For me, it’s always the security of our citizens that comes first. This animal didn’t bite, but it was running after people. That’s not normal, so I said that’s enough. I acted as a good captain. I didn’t abandon the ship.”
The sling-shot-assassin reportedly delivered the claws to the mayor after he took down the turkey. And as for the rest of the bird? It was allegedly cooked up and eaten by the man who took its life.
Early Thanksgiving dinner, I suppose?
