Ravens Idiot Kicker Justin Tucker Tried To Block Patrick Mahomes From Warming Up, But Travis Kelce Took Matters Into His Own Hands

Chiefs vs Ravens Travis Kelce and Justin Tucker

Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is a dedicated boyfriend and thoughtful Valentine to Taylor Swift, not to mention somebody who’s always looking out for his baby GOAT quarterback, Patrick Mahomes.

To borrow the way Peyton Manning once described Mike Vanderjagt, idiot Ravens kicker Justin Tucker had the audacity to block Mahomes’ lane for warming up ahead of Sunday’s AFC Championship Game in Baltimore. Kelce saw the stupidity of the situation unfolding, and decided to wreck Tucker’s whole nerdy-a** setup to make way for the most important player in the NFL.

Rightfully so.

Look, do I feel a type of way about Justin Tucker because I’m a Bengals guy and he plays in the AFC North? You bet I do.

But honestly, other than him being annoyingly, historically great at his job, I don’t have much bad to actually say about him. It’s a pure sports hatred of him. When you “sports hate” someone, I consider that far different than actually hating a person. Tucker seems like a good enough dude. Or at least he did until he pulled this stunt.

Bold strategy by the Ravens to try to get in the heads of the Chiefs’ dynamic duo by deploying their god-tier kicker for some psychological warfare before the proceedings officially begin. I’m sure Kelce and Mahomes were able to laugh this one off, but why add fuel to their fire? They’ve won two Super Bowls already, and they’re coming on the road as underdogs. They already have a chip on their shoulder from that. Hell, Kelce was screaming at the media after winning last year’s Super Bowl about how nobody believed in the Chiefs.

Imagine how slighted they feel now.

As much as I’m disproportionately embellishing this subplot with a sarcastic undertone, I just think it’s hilarious that Kelce did Tucker like this. Because what the f*ck is a shrimp like Tucker going to do about it? All he can do is watch Kelce completely emasculate him. There was no way Tucker could come out of this on the winning side.

…Well, I guess that’s not true. It’s well within Tucker’s physical capacities to drill a game-winning field goal to punch Baltimore’s ticket to Super Bowl LVIII. Then he’d most definitely have the last laugh. As a purely objective spectator, it’d be cool to see Lamar Jackson get to Las Vegas and duke it out for the Lombardi Trophy with the 49ers or Lions. Then again, if the Chiefs win, I could bask in the delight that would be millions of people so pissed off that Taylor Swift would be in attendance.

What a rooting interest dilemma. As someone who already doesn’t like the Ravens, though, not gonna lie. Kelce endeared himself even more to me today by big-boying Tucker. It’s about time somebody knocked that dude down a peg. Yes, he’s just a lowly kicker, but he’s the best of all-time by damn near any measurement you wanna use. Can only fathom the size of his ego if he’s not the good-seeming dude he projects to the public.

I’ll give Tucker this. The first GIF I found of him was a relentless dabbing celebration. Hard to hate on that.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock