“Billy Strings reporting live with the bluegrass news.”
This is the kind of news reporting the world needs. Billy Strings is one of those guys I am convinced can write a ditty about nearly anything at this point.
In November, a crime was committed at a Tulsa, Oklahoma, movie theater involving a Swiftie stealing a poster from the backlit boxes. While this doesn’t seem like the biggest crime to have ever been committed, the Tulsa Police Department posted about it on social media yesterday, and it turned the head of Billy Strings because the culprit is sporting some of his merch.
“On 11/12/2023, the person in the photos, wearing a black “Billy Strings” cap, entered the AMC Theatre at 8207 S Olympia Ave.
The subject went to the Taylor Swift Concert movie then, on the way out, proceeds to steal a 6’ x 4’ poster outside of the theatre room. While this may seem relatively juvenile and benign, it caused thousands of dollars of damage to the poster frame.”
Once Strings heard the story, he picked up his guitar and wrote a little ditty about the Swiftie-related crime. The video Strings posted with the witty lyrics detailing the story of the crime is complete with greenscreen inserts of new clippings posted on social media calling out citizens to help the police identify the man.
“Some ole boy walked in
And ripped a poster down from one
Now the cops are looking for him
But they don’t know where he’s at
They caught him on the camera
In his navy Billy hat…”
Strings knows how intense Taylor Swift’s fanbase is, so naturally, he had to throw in a line to let the Swifties know that just because this man is wearing some Billy Strings merchandise does not mean that Strings agrees with the act committed.
“I hope the Swifites know
I don’t condone what these folks do.
Now, friends, I don’t condone
Taking things that Taylor owns…”
Strings really hit on the message that he does not condone what this man has done, so the Swifties don’t come after them. Let’s not forget their vicious attacks on John Mayer for having drones spell out “Be Kind” before the Speak Now -Taylor’s Version release.
“I don’t condone stealing a Taylor Swift’s stuff even if her bass was bumping in the next room over and disturbing my precious one on one time with the great Nick Cage… Don’t be an asshat. No pun intended.”
After sifting through some comments, Strings also noted that this man is NOT his tour manager.
“P.S. this is not our tour manager Jason Tobias.”
While a few folks in the comments think that Strings is pulling everyone’s leg and it’s totally his tour manager (and let’s be real, reread that Instagram caption). BUT Tobias is innocent till proven guilty.
Even if this was his tour manager, talk about a fantastic smoke screen hypnotizing listeners with a rockin’ song. I know I was listening the to lyrics more than I was worried about seeing what the culprit looked like. Billy Strings writing about Taylor Swift was not on my 2024 bingo card, but nothing that has happened so far this year has been on my bingo card.
Maybe this will lead to Taylor Swift dusting off her country roots for a Billy Strings collab. Now, that’s something to get behind.
