Are any fans out there actually paying attention to the NBA In-Season Tournament? If not, joke’s on you.
Because if you were interested in the Timberwolves-Thunder game in Minnesota on Tuesday night, you could’ve seen one of the strangest-ever, um, entertainment attractions in real time.
That Bonnie Tyler song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” — whose “Turn around…” lyric is fodder for a video meme where kids sing poorly — was the backing track. Those in attendance at Target Center were a captive audience.
What else do you need when this is what you throw down to get the people hyped when there’s no basketball happening at the moment?
I thought Halloween was last month? This looks like some Five Nights at Freddy’s twisted friendly-looking but deadly type fever dream stuff. It’s also hilarious. I don’t know what to make of it. The switch to full-blown techno remix right in the middle of it threw me for a loop.
Next time, could we please convince T’Wolves big men Karl-Anthony Towns and Rudy Gobert to get beneath some larger custom costumes and pull off this mascot routine? I feel like they’re both nimble and athletic enough to learn the choreography.
They could have, like, a cluster of lucky fans sitting at half-court to watch the weirdness play out. Can you even fathom two 7-footers coming at you in gigantic “WOLVES” mascot uniforms? They could change it up, cut the track off, and instead of the techno transition, play the main theme from Jaws and really give everyone a scare.
That’s all I got, y’all. A hypothetical scenario on how they can improve this next time. Why do I toss that out there? Because this is the kind of stunt that will actually make people care about an NBA In-Season Tournament game! More of this, please! Grow the game, Adam Silver! Send out a league memo. Be Office Space Lumbergh levels of anal retentive about making bizarre mascot performances an Association-wide initiative of paramount importance.