The Iowa-Northwestern Game Got A Fitting Black-And-White Silent Film Tribute After Setting Big Ten Football Back Decades

Iowa football game

You’d almost think Iowa and Northwestern were collectively unaware of the invention of the forward pass. But they did, in fact, play football in the year 2023 at Wrigley Field on Saturday, as the Hawkeyes prevailed 10-7.

If you had the misfortune of beholding any or all of this Big Ten slugfest, my condolences to you. But at least somebody came along to grace us with a black-and-white reel of “highlights”, complete with an old-time musical score.

Contrary to what the widespread assumption would be, these two schools did not, in fact, play baseball at Chicago’s iconic baseball field.

Instead, they tore up the turf and couldn’t even manage to crack the top-five in highest-scoring Wrigley games of the year.

Look at these numbers from the first half…

This is not how football should be. It makes me sick. You literally cannot make the Over/Under for total points low enough for Iowa games.

Check out this genius from the Big Ten Network whose HOT TAKE of the day was that the Hawkeyes and Wildcats would combine for 63+ points.

I understand that Gerry DiNardo had a coaching career before getting into media. However, to reiterate something I’ve said in the past, when you have the luxury of focusing on one sport — nay, one league within that sport! — and this is still the dreck you come up with for “analysis” or what have you? It’s just… I wish I could understand.

You’re inevitably going to have many bad takes over the course of a career. This might be the worst take I’ve ever seen in my life. That’s saying something. This is Skip Bayless-Johnny Manziel-will-be-bigger-than-LeBron levels of off-base.

I would say more about this Iowa-Northwestern game but I don’t particularly want to. Bury the tape. Before the aliens take over, destroy the evidence of this colossal waste of time that some of the human race once sat through.

For those of you sickos out there who love this sort of thing, knock yourselves out next week with the Rutgers-Iowa duel, where the 28.5 Over/Under for total points is set at 28.5. I’ll happily direct my eyes elsewhere.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock