Pepsi Releasing Cola-Ketchup Fusion Called “Colachup” For 4th Of July


No, no, no, no…

Who okayed this? I want to know what Pepsi higher-up gave this monstrosity the green light. Yes, a lot of people like Pepsi, and yes, a lot of people like ketchup, but that does not mean that we should have “played God” and put these two things together.

This is the kind of stuff that you see in post-apocalyptic movie flashbacks, where the survivors are talking about the beginning of the end, and what ended up leading to the world’s demise. Just imagine a group of stragglers sitting around a fire, and one saying:

“Everything was fine before Pepsi went and made Colachup. Ketchup and Pepsi separately were fine, but no one knew the putting them together would lead to the third World War, aliens invading, and expedited climate change.”

Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, but you know what I’m saying right? There’s a good chance this is just somewhat of a publicity stunt, like when Hidden Valley ranch partnered with an ice cream company to create ranch dressing flavored ice cream.

Pepsi took to social media to announce their horrible idea to the world, saying:

“Stop the condiment wars, the undisputed champ is here – Pepsi Colachup. Sweet, salty, and ready to try at select baseball stadiums on July 4th. Hot dogs are better with Pepsi.”

The key words there are “with Pepsi,” not “with Pepsi on them.” I like a good 4th of July glizzy as much as the next guy, but I’ve got to draw a line somewhere, and putting Pepsi ON my hot dog is that line.

All of that being said, if I come across it, I would be willing to try it. I wouldn’t be excited about it, and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t like it, but I could mustard (condiment joke) the courage to give it a shot.

Some people on Twitter agreed with me, while others thought this could possibly be the worst duo since Florida Georgia Line:

That is a great question Rodney.

I guess we will all have to wait and see…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock