I mean, they say their pizzas are Hot ‘N Ready.
A 63-year old Knoxville man is in jail and facing a slew of charges after getting so upset that his Little Caesars pizza would take 10 minutes that he left the store and came back with an AK-47.
Witnesses say that Charles Doty Jr. became irate when he was told that his pizza was not in fact “Hot ‘N Ready” and that he would have to wait for a few minutes.
Doty allegedly demanded free breadsticks before leaving the store and returning with the gun, demanding the pizza immediately.
According to the complaint, surveillance video shows Doty threatening an employee who was trying to leave his shift, keeping him from exiting the store and forcing the employee to flee to a back room to call 911.
Another customer who had already gotten her order ended up giving Doty her pepperoni pizza, which was apparently all that it took to get him to leave the store before the police got there.
So all that really WAS over a pizza?
I don’t know if you’ve been to Little Caesars lately, but if you have you know that “Hot ‘N Ready” is pretty much bullshit.
The place has like 3 menu items, so you’d think that they’d have them ready to go when you roll up (like the slogan implies). But no. Somehow they’re always shocked when you walk up and order a pepperoni pizza, like you somehow caught them off guard and now you’re inconveniencing them by forcing them to make some obscure menu item.
It’s the tradeoff you get when you make the decision to go to Little Caesars. Sometimes the pizza’s ready when you get there, but it’s been sitting out for hours and the cheese has already hardened. And sometimes you get a fresh pizza, but it takes them half an hour to get it out to you.
Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s ready, but rarely is it both. But either way, you know you’re (eventually) walking out of there with a large pizza for $6, so that’s why you go to Little Caesars. You don’t expect anything other than a good bad pizza.
And you sure as hell can’t pull out a damn AK-47.
Doty is now behind bars and has been charged with four counts of aggravated assault and one count of especially aggravated kidnapping.
He has another court appearance next week, but he’s currently being held on a $90,000 bond.
All over a $6 pizza.
