Twitter/@PabloMatthews34

Shower Beer Consumption Up 985% During Quarantine

If there’s one thing we know about quarantine it’s that alcohol consumption is wayyyy up while people “work” from home.

People are getting creative, inventing the in-home bar crawl, or new recipes like the White Claw & Vodka Slushie. It’s amazing what a few twelve drinks will do for the creative process.

That brings us to the next point – the beloved shower beer.

The shower beer is something we all deserve during these times. It’s a little oasis within your home. A makeshift therapy session with yourself. It can now be done multiple times a day, thanks to quarantine. I highly suggest you take full advantage of this ability.

Look, I’m no scientist. I made that 985% number up based on personal experience, what friends are doing, and what is being said on Twitter. In fact, that number might be too low. The number is more accurately 11,221% but hey, like the news, I’ll just throw a bunch of confusing shit out there and let you decide on what the number actually is.

Do yourself a favor today, and every day left in quarantine. Partake in one of life’s great joys and mood enhancers. Kick it up a notch and smoke some weed before the shower beer and you’ll have yourself believing you’re in Cabo talking to fellow vacationers as a resort.

Now is the time to take those rookie shower beer numbers to Hall of Fame status.

Cheers to this nurse who most definitely deserves many shower beers. We all thank you.

Yes – that’s what is happening.

I respect the behavior.

True.

What the fuck kind of question is this.

Definitely Top 3.

Cheers, y’all.

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