ESPN’s Coverage For The Masters Featured Known Golf Experts Rex Ryan, Nick Saban, Ryan Fitzpatrick & Will Levis

Rex Ryan Masters

I’m not like angry about this as much as I am befuddled. Getting a bunch of gigantic, bizarre football personalities on ESPN to talk about The Masters, widely viewed as the most prestigious golf tournament in the world, is just a weird look on paper. In actual execution, it wasn’t much better.

I love how ESPN’s PR team gassed up this coverage plan. No mention of how unusual it’d be to have, you know, football guys talking golf at the biggest event of the season.

Not that being a football professional precludes you from weighing in on The Masters. Everyone golf fan is doing that from their couch or where have you. It’s just that, we only get four of these major championships every year. Could we not find more golf experts to interview?

We’ll break down the appearances one by one. First of all, why is Rex Ryan rocking Detroit Lions gear? He was born in Oklahoma, went to high school in Illinois, went to college at Oklahoma, and never coached in the state of Michigan.

Again, not that I dislike Sexy Rexy whenever he pops up on a TV screen, but for The Masters? Come on, four-letter network. When the title of your Rex-centric interview paraphrases Jim Nantz’s famous saying — no, not “ticklish little b***h” — and mentions how great Tiger Woods is, you’re probably not heading for the most insightful commentary. At least Rex got to gloat about getting a hole-in-one, though.

Then there’s Nick Saban. The Alabama coach stunned everyone with his sudden retirement. Apparently that doesn’t apply to getting some airtime during The Masters. For who for what? Why are we doing this?

I mean hey, if you wanted updates on Saban’s snacking habits, or how he must fulfill his household obligations before going to play 18 with the boys (and by the boys I mean fellow senior citizens), this is the TV spot for you!

Damn dawg. This is a lot to take in.

Hmm…what else was there to report back on? Oh yeah. Shout out to Ryan Fitzpatrick for the bucket hat and using galaxy-brained words like “specialness” that you’d come to expect from a Harvard alum. I think that might be the highlight of the whole oddball shebang of a circus that was this ESPN Masters pregame show.

You see that thumbnail, too? Oh the hilarity/humanity. Giving him another interception on the stat sheet. Ouch.

Finally, we arrive at Will Levis. I can get behind this one at least a little bit. A former SEC quarterback at Kentucky being interviewed for a golf tournament set in the South. And it turns out, Levis might have some chops on the course based on this Topgolf video from last year.

I don’t know, though. Bold choice to have a guy on who may or may not be a franchise QB for the Tennessee Titans in the coming years. Of all the quarterbacks ESPN could’ve gotten, they went with Levis? Strange. I’m just glad he didn’t put any mayo in his coffee on live TV. Can’t do that to people on a Friday morning. Some of the younger crowd probably went hard on Thursday eve and would have trouble keeping down their hungover breakfast.

Hey, at least we got some football talk mixed in with The Masters! Levis had plenty of time to talk about the outlook for his second season in the NFL.

Levis has some serious flow, I’ll give him that. That video above doesn’t give him the best lighting, so let’s cast his mug in a better hue, shall we?

That’s better.

So to recap, we dodged any potential Rex Ryan foot fetish references, mined some anecdotes from Nick Saban’s private life, saw Ryan Fitzpatrick with all his clothes on, and had Will Levis around to distract us from The Masters and remember, “Oh yeah, the Titans made a f*ck ton of moves this offseason!”

Ladies and gents, a tradition unlike any other. The Masters! On ESPN!

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock