“Thing Better Have Gold Manure” – A Cow In Brazil Set A World Record After Selling For $4.8 Million

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That’s a lot of moo-lah.

It might be hard to believe, but the cattle auction to end all cattle auctions happened in Brazil… allegedly. According to the internet (and you know what they say about the internet), a cow by the name of Viatina-19 FIV Mara broke the world record for most expensive cow to ever sell at auction.

The white stallion of a cow went for the US equivalent of $4.8 million dollars, which just sounds absurd, does it not? You could be set for life with $4.8 million big ones, and instead,  some investors decided they’d rather just have one big one.

I’m talking about the cow, if you weren’t following. This big white cow to be exact.

Technically, only one third of the ownership of the cow was sold for $1.44 million. But that sale pushed the total value of the cattle to over $4 million. And with all of that being said… I still don’t completely understand what makes a cow worth that much.

Guinness World Records says that the 53-month-old cow is “ranked among the best Nelore cows in history.” Okay, that doesn’t help clear it up. They also claimed that the purchase “made a statement” in the global cattle market. Sure thing.

You could basically say anything at this point and I still wouldn’t think that the cow was worth that much money. The internet, especially X (formerly Twitter), was mainly in agreement with me:

Very timely Shohei Ohtani joke there…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock