Take ’em to church.
The great Wheeler Walker Jr., the patron saint of eatin’ pussy and kickin’ ass is back with a brand new single from his upcoming studio album, Sex, Drugs and Country Music.
Slated to drop April 15th, the album features the previously released lead single “Fucked By A Country Boy,” as well as the tenderhearted ballad, “She’s A Country Music Fan.”
But today, we’re blessed with another steel-soaked country tune from the heavens above, affectionately titled, “God Told Me To Fuck You.”
In an interview with Whiskey Riff, Wheeler detailed the inspiration behind the new song:
“I had a buddy growing up who was dating a really religious woman, and she wouldn’t have sex before marriage and he was obviously trying to.
So, he was trying to get in her pants and she was wanting to wait til marriage, and she said, ‘let’s just pray on it.’ And he came back the next day and said, ‘I did pray on it and God told me to fuck you.'”
But there’s a twist…
“And can I tell you the happy ending to it? They’re married to this day, so it worked. The second he told me that, I said, the as soon as I make it, I’m gonna write that because that’s a country song right there.”
And the new song comes complete with a music video.
And speaking of the video, Wheeler calls it his best R. Kelly impression (no, not that video you sick bastard).
“I really tried to do my best R. Kelly on this one… the ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ video not the elicit video. This is my ‘I Believe I Can Fly,’… without the pissin’.”
So without further ado…
Wheeler Walker Jr. Kicked Out Of Country Music Hall Of Fame
Justice for Wheeler!
Ol’ Wheeler Walker Jr. is back leading the charge against pop country music. A few weeks ago he announced a brand new album, Sex, Drugs & Country Music, a new tour, and dropped the first single, a tenderhearted love song called “Fucked By a Country Boy.”
He also asked fans to go ahead and pre-cancel him ahead of his album release, to “make him as big as Morgan Wallen.”
Well it looks like Wheeler was serious about getting cancelled, and the first place to cancel him was none other than the Country Music Hall of Fame.
Wheeler posted a video to his social media showing himself staging a little one-man protest at the Hall of Fame against their current Florida Georgia Line exhibit.
Finally, a cause I can get behind.
I mean seriously, of all the deserving artists, why the hell would the Country Music Hall of Fame choose to honor Florida Georgia Line? I obviously haven’t been to the exhibit because literally anything else is a better use of my time, but what does the display even consist of? Tyler Hubbard’s can of Axe body spray? Brian Kelley’s gold chain? The computer used to autotune the classic hit “Swerve?”
Whatever it is, Wheeler is doing the Lord’s work, heading down to the Hall of Fame armed with a sign that says “FGL Does Not Belong Here” to let them know how country fans feel.
Proudly chanting that “Florida Georgia Line does not belong in the Hall of Fame” and asking visitors exiting the museum if they saw the FGL exhibit and “saw their panties,” it didn’t take long once he got inside the building for Ol’ Wheeler to draw the attention of security.
And even after asking them if they could play him a country FGL song, security still bounced Wheeler from the Hall of Fame.
How are you gonna do Wheeler like that? The pussy king, the pop country killin’ machine himself – kicked out of the Country Music Hall of Fame.
If anybody deserves an exhibit in the Hall of Fame it’s Wheeler – although then it probably wouldn’t be the family friendly attraction it is now.
Don’t worry Wheeler, we’re still behind you.
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