Well, we’ve just about made it through another one.
After the hell that was 2020, everybody went into 2021 full of optimism. Like, it has to get better, right?
As the year comes to an end, we always like to try to wrap things up and hope for better days ahead. And honestly it wasn’t all bad. There was some great country music that came out this year, and we have a killer list of our Top 40 Albums coming for you soon.
But we’re not here to talk about the great country music right now.
Let’s have some fun and talk about some of the WORST songs.
It’s an “award” that we give out every year here at Whiskey Riff, so if you missed the last couple version of this post, you can check them out here:
And what was the song that you voted as the worst of 2021?
This shouldn’t come as a big surprise:
Fan-Voted: “Fancy Like” – Walker Hayes
This song is EVERYWHERE.
I mean, holy shit… from Applebee’s commercials to TikTok, and then the radio shoving it down our throats, too? Then there was even a remake of the song with Kesha for who the hell knows what reason. Whether it was NFL, college football, or NASCAR, sports fans were left people begging for mercyafter the song was beat to the death with a sledgehammer.
And, here’s the thing… Walker Hayes is a good dude. If you know his story, his family, how much he’s busted his ass to support his rather large family, it’s hard not to root for the guy.
But at the end of the day, the fans voted and they’re saying loud and clear…
Make. It. Stop.
So that’s the fan vote (and full disclosure, when we polled all the writers here at Whiskey Riff, that one was on every single list too).
But with that one out of the way, here are our picks for the three worst “country” songs of 2021:
3) One Mississippi – Kane Brown
This year’s been a mixed bag for Kane. On the bright side, he didn’t get lost on his own property (that we know of) and he had a #1 hit with Chris Young on “Famous Friends.”
But then on there other hand there was… this.
And “One Mississippi” isn’t even Kane Brown’s worst song, but holy shit it’s just so douchey. SO douchey…
“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three shots of whiskey…we’re tipsy, baby come kiss me.”
And it’s not like Kane Brown can’t make a decent country song if he wants to. “Short Skirt Weather” and “BFE” at least, kinda, sorta sound ’90s country-ish. He just chooses the absolute worst of the pop country bullshit to release as his singles.
It’s so bad that it’s almost like they’re trolling us at this point. I mean, “Shawty wanna ride shotty when I roll by?” Hell, Ward Davis even compared this song to his daughter’s shitty diaper.
And it’s not just us. One look at the comments on the YouTube video and you’ll see that hating this song may be the one thing the entire world can agree on:
“If I was paid a million dollars to intentionally make a song worse, I don’t think I could do it.”
“This song makes me want to get rid of my truck. I don’t even have a truck.”
“Somebody owes me 2:43 of my life back”
Brutal. I didn’t it was possible to get any worse than “Swerve” but this one’s like somebody took that abomination and sprayed it with Axe Body Spray and hung up a Black Ice air freshener.
It’ll make your ears bleed…
Before we get to the top song on our list, we felt like we had to include some honorable mentions here.
There were a few songs that definitely could’ve made the list, but didn’t really generate enough buzz to drive you up the wall. Songs like “Tequila on a Boat” by Dustin Lynch and Chris Lane or “Chillionaire” by LoCash.
And then there were the singles that barely missed the cut like “Glad You Exist” by Dan + Shay and “No Sad Songs” by Niko Moon.
Then there was Billy Currington’s entire album, Intutition, that makes me think Ms. Bell gave him some bad directions and he ended up in Justin Bieber’s recording studio.
Yeah, there was a lot to choose from this year, but ultimately we had to narrow it down to three. So the final song that made our list of the Worst “Country” Songs of 2021 is…
1) Where The Country Girls At? – Trace Adkins, Luke Bryan, Pitbull
In a year when country music was clearly moving away from the whole “bro-country” mess, Trace Adkins, Luke Bryan and Pitbull (of all people) decided to slap us back to 2013 with this absolute abomination of a dumpster fire on top of a train wreck.
I mean, it’s bad enough that country singers keep teaming up with pop artists for this bullshit. But then to put out a song about “putting on your smell good” and going out to find some country girls? This crap wasn’t good in 2015, and it’s even worse now that the rest of the genre has moved past it.
And the worst part: ALL OF THESE GUYS ARE OVER 40. Hell, Trace Adkins is 59 years old, and both he and Luke Bryan are married.