It’s that time of year.
Over-eating, over-drinking, family time, and end-of-year lists. We kick things off with a crowd favorite, the WORST “Country” Songs.
Last year was a doozy, but don’t sleep on 2019’s list. These three songs will fuck your ears up. Here we go…
3. “Fire’t Up” by Brantley Gilbert
As I mentioned in November, Brantley Gilbert and his team have inexcusably selected the god-awful “Fire’t Up” (I still can’t even spell “fire’t” without getting pissed off) as his next single.
Between the reaction this performance got on Monday Night Football, and the fact there are some good songs on this album (“Bad Boy” or “Man That Hung The Moon” or “Fire & Brimstone” WITH JAMEY JOHNSON AND ALISON KRAUSS – hello!?), it sucks a caricature Brantley Gilbert song is going to be pushed to radio. Not to mention, Brantley Gilbert doesn’t even drink. Can we just drop this whole moonshine sipping’ bad boy routine he’s had since… forever? It’s getting old.
Bad call. Hate to see it. Hate to have to hear it.
2. “Swerve” by Florida Georgia Line
I’m 99% sure FGL actually released this to troll us. That’s the only reason a song like this would ever appear on an album titled, Can’t Say I Ain’t Country, right? Who the fuck knows, that’s all I know.
Twitter destroyed the song upon its release, and you can’t blame folks.
And the live performance of this song might actually make your head explode.
The song is really bad, almost making you stop and go “c’mon, this can’t be serious” to yourself. It’s beyond obnoxious. It makes your brain liquefy if your head is still intact after watching the performance mentioned above. I had to listen to “Cyclone” by Baby Bash and T-Pain to cleanse my palate after giving this one a spin.
1. “God Given” by Zac Brown Band
Where do you start? I really have no idea. Zac Brown has gone off the fucking rails and it’s been riveting to watch.
“Gucci bag, stacks on stacks, diamonds fill up the champagne glass, Veyron whip, G5 high, you have class that you just can’t buy,” Zac “raps” during this cringe fest of a song. The internet also torched this song with comments ranging from:
“This is absolute garbage. Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.”
to
“I just threw up a little.”
If there’s an ear-bleeding anthem of 2019, it’s this. And to make matters worse, Zac Brown has doubled down, blaming the fans for not understanding his shitty new music. Imagine your own dad, so deep in an obvious midlife crisis, that he’s criticizing you because you’re not hip enough to be on board with his new rap album. That’s Zac Brown in a nutshell right now. A very painful, laughable, embarrassing nutshell.
What a year. Stay tuned for the Best Country Singles and Albums of 2019 – coming soon.
