Member of Congress Denies Setting Zebras Loose In Maryland Suburb

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Well this story certainly took a weird turn.

I expected there to be headlines made until the herd of zebras running wild through a Maryland suburb are caught, but I didn’t expect the issue to involve Congress.

The zebras are still on the loose and we know now that there is one group of 3 zebras roaming together and in addition to another pair of zebras that has broken off from the group.

Rodney Taylor, the Chief of Prince George’s County’s animal services department said the 5 zebras have proven difficult to catch. Authorities are hoping to tranquilize the animals so they can be returned to the farm from which they escaped.

“You can’t hunt them down. They’re just too fast, they run, they won’t let you get near them. We do have a feeding station set up, and we’re winning their confidence. They are eating there every morning between 2am and 4am.

If you spook them, you’re just pushing them further out. And that’s when it can get dangerous, they can get out on the highway. Things can happen.”

Several residents of Upper Marlboro, the Maryland town the zebras are roaming, have encountered the animals but they’re being warned to keep their distance.

“They won’t attack you, but please do not try to corner them or try to catch them.

They’re not used to being handled by humans, so they will kick. Zebras do bite.” 

The story took a weird twist however, when Representative Eleanor Holmes Norton, a member of Congress from the District of Columbia, issued a statement denying her involvement in letting the zebras free and providing an alibi for her whereabouts at the time the zebras escaped the farm.

The bizarre part is, no one was really accusing her of letting the zebras free in the first place?

A statement later issued by her office had to clarify that her comments were satirical and an attempt at tying current events to her legislative priorities in a “tongue-in-cheek” manner.

“Local news has reported that the zebras were let loose on Saturday or Sunday of last weekend, a period of time during which I was enjoying quiet time at home with family. 

My alibi is solid, but given my career of fighting for statehood for the District, which includes years of explaining the importance of having consent of the governed, and given my recent opposition to fences, I can understand why the charge was made. I hope the owners find the zebras and that all involved live long, full lives.”

In the meantime, authorities are indicating that it could still take days to round up the animals.

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