That’s what I like to see from America’s youth. Action.
Last week, tragedy struck the entire country when White Claw announced they were running low on supplies and doing their best to move product around the country to combat the shortage. Unfortunately, it’s only a matter of time before the shortage will be felt across the country. Fuck…
However, whenever crisis strikes, you always have two options: one is to sit there with your thumb up your ass, a impotent victim of circumstance. The other, grab life by the fucking horns and do something about it. One Texas fraternity took the proactive approach and stocked up on Claws like it was 1999.
According to Aaliyah Trevino who works at H-E-B, the flip flop-wearing fellas of this fraternity shelled out a cool $7,500, the price of a decent used car (you know, nothing special but it runs), and bought 3 pallets of America’s favorite hard seltzer. 3 FUCKING PALLETS of White Claw.
It’s a basic lesson in supply and demand… Brad and Chad must be econ majors. Because when the shortage hits, and it will, kids all across campus are going to be jonesin’ for the effervescent buzz of a White Claw, and these bros are going to be running the school. Just watch the street value of White Claw shoot up to cocaine-like prices all across Texas.
“Oh you want one mango White Claw? Market price right now… that’ll be $80 per can. Six-packs at $460. I can do an entire case for 9-hundy even.”
“Ok, you’ll take two… cases? Great. Thank you, come again… and remember prices are subject to change relative to the market demand. Cheers”
Brad and Chad fucking Escobar.
