Play stupid games… get into a fight against a sea lion.
In case you were wondering, sea lions are typically not a threat to humans. That’s under normal circumstances though. This video below is quite possibly the farthest thing we’ve ever seen from a normal circumstance. You don’t see a guy with one of the weirdest mullet haircuts the world has ever seen squaring up with a sea lion everyday.
Like I said, sea lions aren’t generally a concern for the human population… if they don’t feel threatened. If a sea lion gets the feeling that it has to defend itself, they can turn nasty in a heartbeat. And they’ll use their size to their advantage. Male sea lions can weigh between 600 and 900 pounds, while females tend to be around 200 to 300. Both can range from six to seven feet long as adults.
This dumb idiot with a mullet looks to be between 200 and 300 pounds, so it’s not exactly a fair fight weight wise (nor when intelligence is compared). For some reason, the mullet-man was gearing up for battle on a boat ramp while others around him encouraged the questionable behavior. There were various things being shouted at the shirtless man, like:
“Go swim on his backside.”
And my personal favorite:
“Don’t worry… healthcare is cheap here.”
We’re not exactly sure where “here” is, but a number of comments chimed in and said this looked like the marina in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. From the looks of the area, and the sounds of various languages being used in the video, that seems to be very likely. Plus, the marina is home to a number of sea lions, rather friendly ones, including the infamous Pancho the sea lion who likes to snag some fish from local fishermen.
This sea lion was hanging out in the marina area hoping to eat some scraps, and instead found itself having its hands (flippers?) full with this man that seemingly had a death wish. Though I say that, he was actually concerned before he entered into the water because he asked people standing nearby:
“They’re not attracted to blood, are they? Serious question… they don’t like blood?”
I’m guessing this guy got his “Shark Week” facts and his “Sea Lion Week” facts mixed up.
Weird question to ask right before you wage war with a wild animal. But it ultimately didn’t stop him from entering into the water and attacking the larger sea lion. The large creature barked and stood its ground, and may I point out… had home field advantage. The ill-advised guy jumped into the water off the boat ramp to confront the animal, which led to witnesses calling him a gringo, and another to ask him this after he walked back onto the boat ramp:
“Are you done? Are you f**king done yet?”
And while the mullet and the drunken tourist behavior would seemingly indicate a certified Florida Man, he seemed to have a pretty strong accent so it is unclear where he is visiting from:
I can’t begin to describe how lucky this guy is. That sea lion was pulling its punches that day, because it would not have been pretty if it decided to go full-blown wild animal on the mullet guy’s ass.
If the fight would have escalated, I can confidently tell you who social media would have been rooting for:
“Was anyone else hoping he got bit or was it just me?”
“I was kinda hoping that Jaws would make a surprise appearance.”
“Why are people like this?”
“I’m with the sea lion on this one.”
“There are ignorant people everywhere.”
“This is some Florida man behavior.”
If Cabo San Lucas wouldn’t have been revealed as a potential location for this video, the safe guess for the origin of insane outdoors videos is typically the “Sunshine State.” And obviously, sea lions are a protected species (by the Marine Mammal Protection Act), so this guy could face some serious penalties if he’s able to be tracked down…
