That’s gotta hurt…
Early teal and early goose season just started here in Wisconsin where I live, and yesterday morning, I woke up to the sound of shotgun blasts outside my house. What a beautiful sound…
Duck season will get underway here in a few more weeks, but overall, the hunting season is officially upon us. The beginning of duck season coincides with the end of fishing season, so I’m usually out on the water a lot in September, trying to catch the last few bass of the year (and avoid being shot). This year, according to the annual survey on migratory birds, the overall outlook on waterfowl sounds a bit mixed. Mallard populations are expected to be down, along with blue-winged teal and northern pintails; however, some divers are expected to hold steady. Mallards declined 11% to their lowest estimate in 33 years, while May ponds increased 14%.
Canada goose populations appear to be slightly down from last year, but up overall against averages… which means we should be able to put a hurtin’ on ’em this season. Although, sometimes… they put one on you.
Of course, most people are familiar with Canada geese, those obnoxious little devils that will get aggressive with you at your local park and dump all over the sidewalk. Personally, they destroy my waterfront… poop everywhere on the bank. Can’t walk along the water without stepping in it, can’t fish with my kids without sitting in it—it’s maddening. I need to put up a fence next year.
For those in more urban areas, the sound of Canada Goose might mean those insanely priced winter jackets, and let’s be honest: if you’re not climbing Mount Everest, there’s no reason to spend that much on a coat. You’re walking from your house to your car, from your car to Starbucks, from your car to your office, and back… do you really need a $1,000 coat to do that? Grow up…
Anyway, back to the geese… these honkers clock in at about 3 feet in length and can weigh anywhere from 6 to 15 pounds, with some of the largest ones (giant Canada goose subspecies) getting up over 20 pounds. That’s a lot of weight to drop from the sky… imagine getting hit in the chest with a 10-pound sack of potatoes? Drop a 10-pound dumbbell off your roof and see how it feels when it lands on your head.
This group of hunters was out for a hunt when a flock of geese approached the blind. The hunters rattle off a few shots, and you can see a pair of them start to fall out of the sky… smack dab onto the dude who shot it. Talk about vengeance… a full kamikaze mission.
The hunter was focused on taking down another goose and forgot to keep his eye on the one barreling straight for him. My man gets absolutely bulldozed by what I would guess is a good 7- to 10-pound punch in the chest. His buddies are all pumped to get a few birds; meanwhile, he’s on the ground gasping for air, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. The rest of the blind immediately bursts into laughter as they check on their wounded pal.
“Are you okay? Where’d it get ya?”
And with a few gasps, you can hear him say:
“Ummm… No…”
Luckily, it seems like he was okay, maybe just got the wind knocked out of him or a busted rib. But the funniest part is once he finally gets his wits about him and stands back up, someone says:
“Do you wanna punch him? Get back at him?”
He politely declines—and fair enough. Something tells me eating him later will be the last laugh.
Head on a swivel when you’re out in the blind, fellas.
And as unusual as this may be, it sure isn’t the first time… watch this dude get knocked out cold when a downed goose came screaming into the blind like a mortar:
