The Funniest Subplot Of Brandon Aiyuk Staying With The 49ers Is The Fake Insiders Who Reported He Was 100% Headed To The Steelers

Brandon Aiyuk
ABC 10

I think we can all relate to pretending to be somebody we’re not at certain points in our lives. That’s a near-universal part of the human condition. But a line has to be drawn when you clout chase on the Internet for mass engagement and likes, only to be exposed as a fraud in the end by the real professionals who make their living doing the job you only pretend to do.

So yeah, this isn’t about dunking on people because I have superior sources or am some Big J journalist in my own right. It’s about integrity, the often vapid nature of social media, and a mere sampling of the morons who profit off throwing sh*t at a dartboard to see what sticks.

We’ll start with NFL Draft Buzz Dot Com writer Cam Marino, who came out with full-throated conviction that Brandon Aiyuk was to be traded from the San Francisco 49ers to the Pittsburgh Steelers. There were no minced words. No way to twist it otherwise. So much so that our boy Cam thoguht he was dropping the mic by going dark on X/Twitter for three weeks thereafter.

Get a load of this: Cam reemerged with his virtual tail between his legs to apologize and tell everyone how he done f****d up.

…Because, you know, real reporters like Adam Schefter — my personal grievances about his framing of the Ja’Marr Chase-Bengals contract dispute aside — is the real deal. As far as scoops are concerned, I’d say he’s batting close to a thousand. When Schefty breaks news, you don’t even need to say “reportedly” in the headline if you’re secondhand passing the info along. It’s gonna be right. Same goes for NFL Media reporters like Ian Rapoport and his colleagues.

So while I found it funny that, per Schefter’s reliable reporting, Aiyuk signed the exact contract the 49ers offered him more than two weeks ago in spite of all his griping and refusing to practice…

…The biggest laugh came courtesy of Cam Marino and, saving the best for last, some dude with the former X/Twitter handle @prettyrickey 213. At least Cam had the decency to tease us with a few lead-up tweets before his grand, horribly wrong proclamation. Pretty Rickey argued in the replies. Posted every day about an Aiyuk to Pittsburgh trade. Insisted all along it was a done deal.

You’re gonna be shocked to hear that @prettyrickey213’s page pops up with the classic, “This account doesn’t exist. Try searching for another” message.

Goodfellas scene

Another stunning development: Pretty Rickey is getting cooked in the aftermath. He was so convinced that people were legit betting as much as $500 on Aiyuk going to the Steelers!

Not to say that the Aiyuk-to-Steelers rumors didn’t have any validity to them, but by jumping the gun when the whole situation was still very fluid, claiming to have inside sources, and desperately trying to be “first” to expedite their career paths, Cam Marino and Pretty Rickey learned a valuable lesson.

The results are often disastrous when you take morally questionable shortcuts in life.

A beer bottle on a dock

STAY ENTERTAINED

A RIFF ON WHAT COUNTRY IS REALLY ABOUT

A beer bottle on a dock