How did it take this long for the “Florida Man Games” to come together? For years, headlines that include “Florida Man” and/or “Florida Woman” have dominated the news space, and someone finally put an event together in the Sunshine State to crown one Florida Man supreme.
When news first broke later last year that this competition would be held in 2024, I happily reported that the Florida Man Olympics (loose term) would include some of the following challenges:
-Weaponized Pool Noodle Mud Duel (contestants wear drunk goggles and fight each other with pool noodles in an above ground pool full of mud)
-Category 5 Cash Grab (contestants try to grab as much cash as they can in gale force winds)
-Evading Arrest Obstacle Course (real police officers chase contestants through an obstacle course)
-Beer Belly Florida Sumo (contestants will go head-to-head only using their beer bellies as weapons)
-Mullet Contest (you obviously know what that is)
All of those promised events occurred, as did some additional features that must have been added on later in the planing. Based on some other reports out of the Florida Man Games that took place in St. Augustine, Florida, “alligator shows” and “alligator selfie photo ops” were big hits during the proceedings.
But what people were really there for, above everything else, were the multitude of Florida men competing against one another in challenges inspired by some classic Florida man shenanigans.
The event officially got kicked off with an ELECTRIC “Star Spangled Banner” performance, which was riffed out on an electric guitar by a man wearing an American flag tank top (because of course).
One of the competitors that was interviewed, James Gordon, said that he was there “to win,” and added this legendary quote when asked about the games themselves:
“I’ve lived in Florida my whole life. They’re calling these ‘events,’ I’m calling this sh*t (a) Tuesday afternoon.”
That quote alone puts Gordon on the short list of greatest athletes of all time. Gordon won the barbecue pork and sausage speed eating events, and as for some of the other contests that took place, you’ll have to take a look at the video below.
Check it out:
Not sure if you caught that “Star Spangled Banner” clip, but that was legendary hurricane chaser, Lane Pittman, on hand for the national anthem. Lane has made a name for himself headbanging in the middle of hurricanes, and also went viral after he got arrested for playing the national anthem Jimi Hendrix-style in Neptune Beach on the 4th of July back in 2015.
