KFC Continues To Try To Kill Us All, Releases 2-For-1 Chicken & Pizza Combination Called “Chizza”

KFC Chizza

Okay, it’s confirmed now. KFC is just trying to clog all of our arteries and send us into cardiac arrest.

That business model doesn’t make a lot of sense for the fast food chicken chain. They do know that in order to have customers, those that eat at their establishments have to be able to survive despite the food they are consuming, right?

Kentucky Fried Chicken is bringing an internationally popular item to the United States next week. The fast food chain will be rolling out “Chizza,” which is a combination of fried chicken and pizza.

The Yum! Brand describes the limited time menu item as two pieces of fried chicken topped with “zesty marinara sauce, melty mozzarella cheese and crispy pepperoni.” I somehow am both intrigued and disgusted at the exact same time.

News of the peculiar food mash up started to make its way around social media, and the Colonel himself (or at least whoever runs KFC’s X/Twitter account) confirmed that the “Chizza” was, in fact, releasing next Monday:

If you read into that post above, you might have noticed that KFC is also bringing back their signature Blackberry Lemonade. Sounds like the perfect pairing with a fried chicken pizza…

Let’s all be adults here, okay? Most of us have had a chicken parm before, and this new KFC menu item isn’t that far off from that. Chicken and pasta often goes together, and pizza is just mobile, handheld pasta (in a way).

But no one in their right mind could go to KFC and order this “Chizza” and feel good about themselves afterwards. Just off the top of my head, pizza and fried chicken are two of the greasiest foods I can think of.

KFC is putting those two things together in this one product, and I’m scared for America to have access to it. “Chizza” has already been offered in the Philippines, India, Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, Germany, Mexico, and Spain though, so maybe it’ll all be okay…

At least it’s not as bad KFC’s formerly horrifying “Double Down” sandwich, which featured two pieces of chicken as the buns:

God help us all.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock