Jackson Mahomes Was Denied A VIP Table With His Sister-In-Law Brittany & Twitter Could Not Be More Overjoyed

Jackson Mahomes

Few pop culture phenomenons can unanimously unite America more effectively than the 100% deserved vitriol and distaste for the human being that is Jackson Mahomes. One of the worst textbook cases of entitlement, obnoxiousness and clout-chasing this planet has ever seen.

All of you people out there who hate on the indefatigable power couple that is Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and music icon Taylor Swift., please consider saving that energy for Patrick Mahomes’ little brother. When you take into account how much of a scumbaggy distraction Jackson is, it’s even more impressive that the superstar quarterback is tracking to chase down Tom Brady as the NFL’s undisputed GOAT.

What’s the latest twist in the Jackson Mahomes saga, you ask? Once again, he thrust himself into a nightlife situation where legit nobody wanted him there — because Jackson has thrived in these sorts of environments before, right? — and tried to weasel his way into the limelight. Thank goodness, somebody intervened before he could allegedly attempt to gain access to a VIP table in Las Vegas with his sister-in-law, Brittany Mahomes. Her facial expression says it all:

I’m surprised Patrick never gets grilled or at least loosely questioned about his stupid little bro at the podium. Do the Chiefs have, like, a PR mandate to reporters that all Jackson-related inquiries are off-limits? Because I don’t think I’ve ever heard Patrick discuss him in any sort of public forum. It’s probably for the best. You don’t want to ruffle the feathers of the literal face of today’s NFL. That said, Jackson has to be such an energy-sucking vampire for Patrick — or the big brother has simply figured out a way to deal with his nonsense all his life that he’s just numb to it at this point and has risen above the shenanigans.

Look, it’s hard for this writer to literally hate on somebody connected to sports.There’s a difference, to me, between “sports hating” someone and actually hating them. Hate is toxic in pretty much all its forms. I make an exception when it comes to Jackson Mahomes. This dude is the f*cking worst. Related news: Jackson was reportedly hanging with Travis Kelce’s ex in Vegas, per TMZ. What a good guy!

The unfortunate thing is, as long as Patrick Mahomes is a stone-cold killer on the football field, Jackson will continue to be relevant via TikTok and the by-proxy public exposure he doesn’t deserve. Again, few things unite humankind as much as the consensus that Jackson Mahomes sucks.

My faith in Earth’s dominant species, wavering ever so slightly by way of the drunken carnival that is the Phoenix Open golf tournament, has been restored upon seeing the reaction to Jackson’s latest antics. Behold! There are more that are quite colorfully profane that I refrained from featuring here. Gotta have a touch of class, because Jackson Mahomes has none.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock