No One Can Describe Deer Hunting Quite Like Ron White: “Well, I Hit One With A Van”

Ron White
Ron White

Does it get any better than Ron White?

The comedian affectionally known as “Tater Salad” has been making people laugh for decades on end, and rather recently gave some pretty interesting details about golfing with John Daly and Kid Rock. When he’s not doing standup or golfing, there’s a good chance that he’s fishing, though one thing you won’t ever find him doing is hunting.

White made that perfectly clear in his comedy special The Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again. It was during that show that he let his fans know that though he is a Texan, he doesn’t really like going out into the woods and trying to bag a deer:

“I don’t hunt. I fish, but I don’t hunt. And not because I think it might somehow be more holy to eat meat that’s been bludgeoned to death by somebody else. That’s not it.

It’s really early in the morning and it’s really cold outside, and I don’t want to go.”

Seems like reasonable logic to me…

White went on to describe that though hunting isn’t his cup of tea, he had a “Cousin Ray” that believed deer hunting was one of the most magical hobbies on the planet. Ron then told the audience that he would do an impression of his cousin that would be making fun of sprawling, dramatic hunting stories that hunters often tell, and it went like this:

“Well it was 4 in the morning, 22 degree outside, of course you weren’t there. I’m in a camouflaged deer blind with grease paint on my face. I’ve got deer urine on my boots.

I got a 30-aught-6 with a 12 power scope and a bullet that’ll travel 2,200 feet per second. When that deer looked up to lick the salt sucker I’d hung from the dang-darn tree, I caught him right above the eye.”

In classic Ron White fashion, he didn’t take long to deliver the punchline. He set up the audience perfectly, and with a cigar and glass of scotch in hand, White knocked them right down with the delivery of this hilarious take on deer hunting:

“Yeah, well I hit one with a van going 55 miles per hour with the headlights on and the horn blowing. Woo, that’s an elusive little creature.

If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet is moving too fast. Slow that bullet down to 55 miles per hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it (and) the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.”

There’s always some truth behind comedy, and Ron White made some great points about hunting right there. You can watch the hilarious clip of his deer hunting joke below:

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock