Wild Rumor That Corey Perry Left The Chicago Blackhawks Because He Banged Connor Bedard’s Mom Is Definitely Not True… But It IS Hilarious

Corey Perry Connor Bedard
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Scorey Perry, indeed.

Connor Bedard is the talk of the town in the hockey world, and in Chicago where he has (properly) been anointed the savior of Chicago sports. That is, until Jed Hoyer and the Chicago Cubs pony up over half a billion for Shohei Ohtani (you gotta speak this stuff into existence). Manifest… Visualize… Make it happen…

The Bulls are a disaster, the Bears are still rebuilding (fire Eberflus), the White Sox are as unserious as a professional sports organization can possible be…. it’s bad in Chicago right now. However, about 20 games into the season, and despite being surrounded by a miserable cast of inexperienced players, overpaid Seth Jones, and now the competent veterans like Taylor Hall (ACL injury) and Corey Perry gone, Bedard has proven to be the golden boy that we all thought he was.

He’s leading all rookies in points, has handled the media circus with poise and maturity, and being just a few months over 18 years old, he skates and shoots with the confidence of someone who has been in the league for a minute. And on top of all of that, Corey Perry f*cked his mom…

Ok, ok… that’s just a joke. Calm down.

The longtime NHL veteran and former Hart Memorial Trophy winner has mysteriously vanished from the team, after being a healthy scratch in Columbus last week. The team called it an “organizational decision” and said that he would be away from the team for the “foreseeable future,” however Perry’s agent said that he would be be stepping away to handle “personal matters,” making it sound like it was his own choice.

Blackhawks coach Luke Richardson told the media:

“There’s no update on that end. He’s away from the team and will remain so for the foreseeable future. I’m unable to provide any further update on that front.”

And when asked to elaborate, he said:

“It’s been a team decision, so far, to hold him out. It is coming from the organization’s end, yes.”

Ummmm…. so what happened? The Blackhawks cleaned house after the Kyle Beach scandal, which they seemed to collectively, as an organization, brush under the rug at the time, so it’s wild to think that they wouldn’t be transparent as hell with fans if something serious was really going on. And yet, we have no idea.

Are fans entitled to an explanation? Maybe not, and that can be a conversation for another time, however, as the old saying goes… “tight lips sink… the internet into a spiral of hilarious and most likely untrue conspiracy theories and rumors.” Ok, maybe that’s not an actual expression, but it’s still true. When you leave people to speculate, that’s how rumors get started.

Exhibit A: Corey Perry left the team because he got busted boning the golden boy’s mom during the annual mom’s trip.

Yup, the latest rumor burning up the interwebs is that 38-year old Corey Perry, AKA Scorey Perry, hooked up with Connor Bedard’s mom Melanie (a babe btw), and that’s why he had to leave the team. A wild and untrue rumor, no doubt, but nevertheless, Corey Perry is a top trending topic on Twitter right now, and people who don’t even watch hockey are gonna run with it.

And it’s downright HILARIOUS.

The internet remains undefeated…. although, I hope our golden boy doesn’t have Twitter (X, whatever you call it these days). We don’t need any more distractions for the young phenom (or the team).

In all seriousness, I certainly hope everything is ok with Corey Perry and his family and that he can come back to the team and continue being that great veteran presence that he’s been this year. Every hockey fan hates Corey Perry… until you have him on your team. I found that out this year, too.

Anywho… let’s end this on a highlight reel of every nasty goal from number 98 so far this season. The future is BRIGHT.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock