How are you preparing for the CMA Awards tonight?
Well judging by the ratings a lot of people are preparing not to watch it at all, and I can’t say that I blame them. I’ll probably just be sitting on my couch throwing back a few drinks and drunkenly tweeting about what a disaster it is.
But Hayley Hubbard, wife of former Florida Georgia Line frontman and current solo artist Tyler Hubbard, apparently is taking a…different approach to get ready for the evening.
Hayley shared her pre-show beauty routine on her Instagram story, including some of the usual activities…some hot yoga, a trip to the infrared sauna, some red light therapy, a coffee enema…
Wait, what?
Now, maybe I’m just out of touch, but I actually had to Google “coffee enema” just to make sure it was…well, what it sounded like.
Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Just blasting coffee up your ass.
Apparently that’s a real thing these days, and supporters claim that the practice can help boost your immune system, increase your energy, remove toxins from the body and even help with chronic constipation.
Well yeah, but drinking coffee the normal way can do those things too. I mean 10 minutes after my morning coffee and I’m on the toilet blasting off like one of Elon Musk’s rockets. (I’m just kidding, I don’t drink coffee).
But the Cleveland Clinic has warned against coffee enemas (because if the question is “Should I put this up my ass?” the answer is generally “No”). Apparently the practice has no scientifically proven benefits and can actually cause inflammation of both the colon and the rectum.
Of course both the enema and its side effects still sound more pleasant than listening to a Florida Georgia Line song. I mean, tell me you wouldn’t rather have something shot up your poop chute than listening to this crap…
Thankfully the band went their separate ways last year, so we won’t have to worry about that at tonight’s awards.
But now I’m going to be watching the whole time and wondering how many other people in the room were butt-chugging coffee before the show.
