Mariah Carey Is A Christmas-Crazed Maniac & We All Must Band Together To Stop Her

Mariah Carey Christmas music
Mariah Carey

We’re somehow already in the month of November, which means the holiday season is in full force.

“Spooky Season” had a good run, but now it’s time to throw away the pumpkins (and take a flamethrower to anything pumpkin spice) and move onto Thanksgiving… right?

That depends on who you ask. Personally, I stand by Thanksgiving, and the basic principle of giving each holiday its proper time and respect. October belongs to Halloween, the first three weeks of November (should) belong to Thanksgiving, and then Christmas takes us the rest of the way to New Years.

However, some people have decided that when the trick-or-treating is over, and the clock strikes midnight on Halloween, that marks the official start of the celebration of Christmas. One of those people is someone who has basically made an entire career off of one Christmas song: Mariah Carey.

I love Christmas just as much as the next person, but putting up the tree and the other X-mas decor on November 1st? Pump the brakes people, and especially you Mariah.

Thanksgiving would like a word, and reasonably so. It’s easily one of the most underrated holidays out there, and one that is horribly under-appreciated and overlooked thanks to its big brother known as Christmas.

Think about Thanksgiving for a second. You eat a ton of amazing food and desserts, you watch football, and you are not required to get anyone a gift. You literally come as you are, eat all the food you want, and that’s all that’s asked of you.

Instead of taking the time to really appreciate Thanksgiving, and even extending the wonderful vibes of the fall season, we trade the pumpkins and costumes in as fast as we can for Santa Clause and Christmas music.

And one person that could take most of the blame for that is the “All I Want For Christmas Is You” singer Mariah Carey. Just look at what she posted at EXACTLY midnight (EST) last night:

I wish I had one of those “memory-clearing” devices from Men In Black just so I could go back to a time when I hadn’t watched that video. The theme of Carey’s video, which shows the singer being thawed out from a block of ice by Halloween characters, is the phrase “It’s Time,” declaring that November 1st is the start of the Christmas season. Guess what Mariah Carey?

It is not time.

I’ll share my personal Christmas music listening rule, in hopes that it can catch on, or could even be signed into law if it got enough momentum. You should only listen to Christmas music after you eat your first Thanksgiving meal. Doesn’t even have to be on Thanksgiving Day, just whenever it is that you carve up the turkey for the very first time.

The only exception to the rule is if it snows before Thanksgiving. If you live in an area that get’s a wintry mix before Turkey Day, the snow makes listening to Christmas music, and celebrating the holiday, fair game so long as you don’t needlessly subject others to it.

I just find it very arrogant for Mariah Carey to act as if she has the authority to declare when it’s time to celebrate Christmas. And I’ll admit, I liked the song “All I Want For Christmas Is You” when I initially listened to it, but it has slowly and surely become one of my least favorite holiday tunes.

The only way we can stop Mariah’s reign of Christmas terror is by opting to:

1) Give Thanksgiving its well deserved respect

2) Hold off on the Christmas music, and maybe even explore listening to other holiday classics

I know by writing about her video, I’m inadvertently bringing more attention to Mariah Carey, but consider this a public service announcement instead of a story. Let’s band together, appreciate Thanksgiving, and force Mariah Carey to thaw out of her ice block a little bit later in the year, shall we?

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock