There are certain music videos that have been burned into my brain because of the sheer number of times I watched them before school on CMT or GAC.
One of those is “I Don’t Even Know Your Name” by Alan Jackson from all the way back in 1995. It features Jeff Foxworthy, a horrifying dentist experience, and an impromptu wedding.
If you don’t know this song, then watch the video because it is one of those rare cases that the song story and music video story match up. It’s great.
It starts with Jeff Foxworthy (yes, the comedian) at the dentist about to be put under. I’m convinced this video is where my fear of the dentist stems from. It’s not quite as terrifying as Little Shop of Horrors, but the fear in Foxworthy’s eyes always made me a little skeptical about getting stuff done to my teeth.
Of course, everything goes fine, and we’re transported into anesthesia-induced dream at this random diner as Alan Jackson begins to sing.
We quickly find out that Foxworthy is in love with this hot blonde waitress but doesn’t know her name. Naturally. The problem is that she’s not his waitress, but this other chick without her front tooth is.
That’s about the time that chorus begins, and Alan Jackson sings one of the greatest lines in all of country music:
“I’ve never been to good with all those sexual games”
Yes, folks. This here is a song in which the Alan Jackson (and Jeff Foxworthy) admits that he’s got no game. The dude just has no idea how to flirt with a pretty lady.
How do we remedy this? Well, alcohol… of course.
Foxworthy gets so drunk that he gets helped back to his truck and comes to . . . to the sound of church bells.
I’m sure you can all guess where this is going. He lifts the veil and gasp! It’s not the hot blonde waitress. Our blushing bride is missing her font tooth.
Again, Jackson sings a great and profound line:
“And I said where the hell am I and just who the hell are you?”
Then, Jeff Foxworthy wakes up at the dentist, fails to flirt with the hot blonde hygienist, and flees the office after seeing a woman who resembles his dream bride.
I also just want to mention that I’m convinced that we see bloopers of Alan Jackson and his band throughout the video because there are a few times when they crack up or grin at each other while trying to sing.
Totally understandable because this song is ridiculous and so is the video.