Even before Covid, haunted houses had a glaring issue if you ask me.
Well, maybe a couple issues…
First, they typically weren’t that scary. Maybe you jumped once or twice, maybe not. If you go to a haunted house, you should be leaving with higher blood pressure and dirty underwear if you got your money’s worth.
Additionally, does anyone really want some high school kid done up in makeup leaping out into your face, nose to nose, breathing on you? I know I didn’t.
There’s a solution that takes into account Covid and safety measures, but also sounds like a much better time – the new drive-thru haunted house.
You never leave your car, but instead drive through the woods in the countryside and wait for crazy shit to come at you.
“During this unprecedented time in the World, the promoters of Terror in the Timbers would like to share with you our plans to entertain you and your family SAFELY this October. You will enjoy a scenic drive through the countryside with stops along the way that will showcase some of Chicago’s darker historical moments brought to you by HH Holmes.”
Guests will never have to leave the safety of the vehicle.
First, you will turn off your headlights and tune your radio to a predetermined station.
Next, you will proceed down a marked path to the first of many horrific stops. NEVER exceeding 5 miles per hour.
When you enter the scene, a red light will signal the driver who will then be required to put the car in park.
Then take a deep breath and leave the rest to our demented Minions of Terror.
Similar attractions are now showing up out West, in Texas, and beyond – just search your general area, and you’re going to likely find something.
Happy almost October, y’all.
Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.