Santa’s not the only one giving gifts this Christmas. It’s the holiday season, so everybody’s in the spirit of giving. Everybody, including Florida Man.
According to WFLA, 67-year old Richard Ellis Spurrier was arrested by Pinellas County police in Florida (where else would it be?), and charged with possession with intent to sell marijuana. Police allegedly caught Spurrier with 45 grams of weed that he was handing out to passersby. In his interview with the police, Spurrier said he was handing out the weed “because it was Christmas.”
See, this guy’s not a criminal – this is obviously the real fucking Santa Claus that y’all just locked up. And how are you going to charge the man with possession with intent to sell when obviously his intent wasn’t to sell the weed – he was giving it out for free! Just trying to spread some Christmas cheer, one gram at a time. Sounds like some real Grinches down there in Florida.
But that’s not even the best part of the story. Because this is Florida Man we’re talking about here. No, here’s the best part of the story: When Spurrier was arrested, officers also found a sword hidden in his cane. A FUCKING SWORD. IN HIS CANE. Was Stoner Santa trying to prepare for a reindeer uprising? Not gonna lie though, I’m all for bringing back swords and just casually carrying them around with us every day.
It’s nice to see Florida Man getting into the Christmas spirit. And luckily, Spurrier has already been released from jail after his arrest. The hero no one knew they needed, back out onto the street to spread Christmas cheer.