Texas Man Legally Changed His Name To “Literally Anybody Else” In An Attempt To Win 2024 Presidential Election

Literally Anybody Else
Literally Anybody Else

How about a round of applause for this Texas man who is lightyears ahead of the rest of us?

They say everything is bigger in Texas, and this is quite the big idea for a man formerly named Dustin Ebey. Like many Americans, Ebey was dumbfounded by the fact that the 2024 Presidential Election would yet again be a choice between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, so he decided to do something about it.

That “something” didn’t come in the form of a grassroots campaign. Instead, Dustin Ebey legally changed his name to “Literally Anybody Else,” and now hopes to get his name on the ballot come November.

The 35-year-old Army veteran who teaches 7th grade math in Birdsville, Texas is now literally named Literally Anybody Else. First name Literally, middle name Anybody, last name Else.

Future President of the United States Mr. Else has already filed successfully with the Federal Election Commission, and now has the tall task of obtaining 113,151 signatures by May 13, 2024 in order to get on the ballot.

Literally Anybody Else’s website helps explain why he is going through with this outlandish-yet-agreeable campaign:

“For too long have Americans been a victim of its political parties putting party loyalty over governance. Together lets send the message to Washington and say, ‘You will represent the people or be replaced.’

America should not be stuck choosing between the ‘King of Debt’ (his self-declaration) and an 81-year old. Literally Anybody Else isn’t a just a person, it’s a rally cry.”

I mean… he does make a good point there, doesn’t he? Plus he’s over 40 years younger than the other candidates.

Mr. Else’s main idea is that people will go to the polls in November and see three options: Democrat Joe Biden, Republican Donald Trump, or Literally Anybody Else. It’s really a brilliant idea.

Now he just needs to lock in someone named “Literally Anyone Else” as his running mate to cover all of his bases…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock