“Like We Just Got Off Willie Nelson’s Tour Bus” – Former Montana Tech Football Coach Bob Green Gave The Media All The One-Liners They Could Handle

Bob Green

I miss college football already.

It’s only been a couple of months, but with college football ending in January and the NFL wrapping up in February, I’m already having football withdrawals. That’s why I’ve been scrounging the internet for football-related content like this video, and patiently awaiting the debut of the UFL (Go Battlehawks!).

There’s a chance you’ve never seen or heard of Montana Tech’s Bob Green, but there’s also a chance that you have. This story is for those who have never heard of him, though the people that are aware of the former head coach’s shenanigans will certainly enjoy a trip down memory lane.

Bob Green coached at Montana Tech University from 1987 to 2010. While he was there, he boasted a career record of 130 wins and and 112 losses. Though he was considered a very respectable head coach at the NAIA level, Green was more famously known for the quips that he had holstered and was ready to fire during any moment with the media.

The clip below showcases Bob’s undeniable wit and humor, and will make you wish that there were more coaches out there like him. I’d say the closest the DI level ever got was the late great Mike Leach, God rest his soul.

You’ll have to watch the greatest hits compilation of Bob Green quotes that someone put together below, but I went ahead and typed out some of his best material to lead into the incredible video. He truly had a way with words and bringing real life metaphors into football, as you can see:

“Kind of like when you get married. That first day, your wife takes control early.”

“Our football team was like the kid that plays second french horn in the school band. We gotta play better.”

“It’s kind of like watching your mother-in-law go off a cliff in a Cadillac. You’ve got mixed feelings.”

“I’ve got a short memory, just like when I was in the 3rd grade. Two of the best years of my life.”

“His attitude is positive, he thinks he can take on hell with a squirt gun.”

“Some aspects look like we’re really ready to play. A couple other aspects look like we just got off of Willie Nelson’s tour bus.”

An absolute legend, and a living legend at that. Someone get a hold of Bob Green and see if he’d be willing to come out of retirement to coach again, or better yet, run for president.

He’s around 74-year-old, so that puts him in his prime presidential years…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock