Florida “Cocaine Bear” Bill Passed By State Senate… Allows For Residents To Kill “Crack Bears”

Black bear north carolina
David Oppenheimer

Did you ever think you would hear the words “cocaine” and “bear” together so much?

Whether it be the comedy movie that came out last year, or this new bill in Florida that’s been nicknamed the “Cocaine Bear” bill on social media, bears on crack are really having a moment.

And if you wanted clarification on why SB-632 is affectionally referred to as the “Cocaine Bear Bill,” the simple explanation is that one of the bill’s sponsors stated that Florida residents should have the right to shoot and kill bears, specifically “the ones that are on crack.”

Sounds like that should have been touched on in the U.S. Constitution, am I right? How is it that our forefathers didn’t have the foresight to know that bears on serious drugs would one day plague the great country they were starting?

I guess that’s why some Florida lawmakers are fighting tooth and nail for this bill, especially Rep. Jason Shoaf, who sponsored the bill and said this when introducing the legislation:

“They break your door down and they’re standing in your living room growling and tearing your house apart.

When you run into one of these crack bears, you should be able to shoot it. Period.”

Hey, I wholeheartedly agree with that…but that statement does beg the question: How often is this happening in Florida?

The state of Florida and the stories it produces never ceases to amaze me, so I’m not doubting the validity of these crack bear encounters. I’m just kind of shocked that it apparently occurs so often that lawmakers are pushing this bill.

Not only are they pushing it, they passed it through the Florida state senate this past week:

The “Cocaine Bear Bill” passed with a 24-12 vote, so it will now head to the House.

Those opposed to the bill, which would legally allow for Floridians to shoot a bear if they are an “imminent threat,” are mainly worried that the bill would be abused.

Many believe that Florida residents would just start shooting bears willy nilly (that’s the professional law term, I promise), and be able to fall back on this legislature. Because the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission is no longer obligated to investigate bear deaths, that could be a very real problem.

Not as big of a problem as vicious, rabid, drugged up bears though, according to Florida lawmakers…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock