Dez Bryant Is Quite Possibly The Sharpest Sports Bettor On Planet Earth

Dez Bryant
Dez Bryant

As if Dez Bryant already didn’t have enough success as a stud NFL wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, he’s also sharper than a razor when it comes to sports betting. Forget tailing total strangers on Twitter who claim to have the answers. Don’t burn out your brain crunching numbers in the downtime of your 9-5 cubicle job. Just open Dez’s socials, sit back, relax, and ride with No. 88.

Why do I say this? Where’s the proof? Well, it just so happens that this tweet grace my timeline late Sunday evening, indicating that our man Dez had hit a parlay that, even after taxes, is still somewhere north of $300,000.

As you can peep from that diverse betting ticket, Dez’s expertise is not at all limited to a single sport. This man knows NHL, college hoops, and freaking tennis. Had to do some digging in his timeline to unearth the other parlay in question. Sure enough, like a true genuine sharp, he screen recorded his winning ticket — and tossed in another umpteen-leg parlay that he missed by one!!

If you come at the undisputed king of sports betting, you’d better not miss.

Who did Dez pick in Super Bowl LVIII, you ask? I mean…do you even need to ask at this point? The NFL has to be his wheelhouse. This is the game he eats, sleeps and breathes. Of course he was on Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs.

We’re on the precipice of yet another mega parlay hitting for Dez. He just needs Taylor Fritz to pull through. Dez must’ve done his research on that tournament at least a little, because I learned approx. 30 seconds before plugging the below tweet into this article that Fritz is the reigning Delray Beach Open champion.

OK, on second thought, maybe Dez is just riding the pure “when you’re hot, you’re hot” vibes and rolling with Fritz for no reason in particular.

Who knew Dez Bryant could single-handedly clean the clocks of any sportsbook who dare accept his wagers?

Channeling Ron Burgundy for my reaction to all this…

Ron Burgandy

I can’t even hate on Dez, or work myself into a jealous rage over how damn good he is at sports betting. I’m sure he puts the work in somehow. I just will never know how it’s possible that he could know the inner workings of that many college basketball games to group them all together in a parlay, and hit it.

Is he just grinding Ken Pom dot com every waking hour? Highly doubt it. WHAT’S YOUR FORMULA, DEZ!? WHAT IS IT!?

Loki gif

Couldn’t resist invoking a top-10 all-time line reading from Tom Hiddleston’s Loki there. Guess I am getting a little angry.

Hulk gif

OK I’ll stop…

Maybe we won’t have to wait long for Dez to reveal his mysterious ways.

Stay tuned…and eventually, I hope, a national #RideWithDez movement will ignite.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock