He saw the most of his opportunity and he grabbed it.
According to Scoop: Nashville, a man was recently arrested for masturbating inside the Vanderbilt University Divinity Library in Nashville. But he apparently made the use of what he had in…er, on…his hands to try to slip away from cops once he was busted.
The police report states that officers responded after reports of a man watching porn a library computer. And while en route, they received yet another call that the man was now actively pleasuring himself in the library.
School is stressful, I get it, but does he not have a dorm?
But anyway, when officers arrived they found 25-year old Mark Cowart sitting at a computer watching porn with his sweatpants down and his hand inside of his boxers, yankin’ the ol’ chain.
Officers then took Cowart into custody (hopefully after putting on gloves), but Cowart was able to slip out of the handcuffs because of…an unknown substance on his hands.
Gonna let you use your imagination on that one.
Actually, no I’m not. He had lube on his hands from jackin’ it in the library. Dude came prepared with a plan and supplies. That, or he just carries around lube with him at all times in case the opportunity presents itself. I’m honestly not sure which one’s worse.
But anyway, Cowart was finally arrested and admitted to officers that he was masturbating in the library because he was “horny.” He was taken to the Metro Nashville Detention Center and booked on charges of public indecency, resisting arrest, and trespass. Cowart was released on a $3,500 bond.
I’m not sure what he’s studying, or if he’s even a student at Vanderbilt, but maybe he needs to find another way to relieve his stress next time.
Or at least another place…
