If you have a weak stomach, this is your official warning to proceed cautiously.
As a frequent concertgoer and festival attendee, I think I’ve seen some crazy stuff, and I feel as though the collective who also attended some shows would agree our eyes have witnessed some things that are not for the faint of heart. But this…this story takes the cake.
Those who purchase a VIP ticket for a Wheeler Walker Jr. show get an intimate acoustic set of their favorite raunchy songs and a chance to chat with Walker Jr. and hear some wild stories from him or fellow fans in the crowd.
From fans revealing their portrait tattoos of Walker Jr. to couples sharing which one of his tunes was their first dance song (that one was a doozy), his fans are unapologetically themselves, just as he is. But when he shared what his craziest fan story was, this was a whole new level of wild fan. Just wild person is a better label for this show attendee.
“What’s the most f**ked up thing you’ve seen on tour?”
And without hesitating for a second, Wheeler said:
“I’ll tell you right now. Ever, it’s not even close.”
And off that opening statement, you know what Walker Jr. is about to say is going to WILD. As he writes lyrics that often graphically detail some sexual relations or other topics that often are not for young ears, I can only imagine what he could have seen that would make this encounter easily top his other wild experiences.
“I got done playing a show somewhere in California; I don’t even remember now. It was the first tour. The security guard was a black guy, and this dude passed out at the show, so the security guard took him outside. ‘Cause he was passed out.
And the dude called him a racial slur. And (the security guard) said, ‘That don’t mean sh*t from a guy that sh*t his own pants.'”
The guy being thrown out then starts to fight back about how he didn’t sh*t his pants, but the security guard notes that he witnessed the crime, standing by his statement his man now has poopy pants.
“And the dude sticks his hands in his pants and goes like this (insert motion of Wheeler licking his finger), and goes ‘I guess you’re right.’ You ever heard of anything more f**king crazy and disgusting than that?”
There are gasps of sheer horror coming from the crowd at the Q&A. And even the way Walker Jr. tells it, you can fear in his voice the horrid flashbacks from the event. That audience member got his money’s worth with the answer to his question. And I am officially traumatized hearing that story as well.
I would have puked on the spot if I were to witness something like that.